Confessions
by elfmaiden4legs
Summary: Jack helps Locke after Boone’s death. Sawyer and Charlie are sick and Jack must also care for them. Everything’s kicking off on the island, there are still the usual fights, Jack and Kate finally get together. BTW this is long
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own 'Lost' or any of the characters in this story.

"Shannon what do you think you're doing?" Sayid shouted as a group of them consisting of Jack, Kate and himself ran through the forest and came across her and Locke in a clearing… Shannon a gun raised purposefully to Locke's head. "Do you honestly think Boone would want this?"

"He killed my brother!"

"No Shannon, there was nothing anybody could have done, in the end Boone wanted to die, he asked me to let him die" Jack cried.

"He would never have been forced to make that decision had he not done what he did to him"

"And what did he do Shannon? Tell me? How can you condemn a man to death without even hearing his side of the story?" Kate asked.

"He killed my brother!"

"No!" said Locke

"You killed my brother!"

"No…" but what ever he was going to say suddenly seemed to catch in Locke's throat as his legs began to give way to him. "No!"

"Yes!"

"Locke…" Jack gave Locke a questioning look.

"Help me Jack!" the look in Locke's face suddenly became desperate.

"You will pay for what you did to my brother!"

"No Shannon, come on, put the gun down, drop it, you don't really want this." Jack turned to her.

"Yes… I do."

"It doesn't matter anymore." Locke suddenly seemed so distant, so unreachable.

"Shannon listen to me, Locke didn't kill your brother! I've seen many murderers in my time, and I'm telling you Locke is no murderer. What happened to your brother, it was just an unfortunate accident."

"Liar! He's nothing but a liar. He killed my brother and now he expects me to forgive him and forget anything ever happened."

"Believe me Shannon, there's nothing there to forgive…"

"No! And now he will pay…"

"No!" Sayid ran at Shannon as the gun went off. Locke fell to the floor as the bullet grazed his forehead but it didn't penetrate his skull. Shannon ran, Kate was suddenly after her and he followed with all the speed he could muster, leaving Jack alone with Locke in the clearing. Jack was by Locke's side in an instant.

"Jack…" Locke began to come round

"You're ok."

"Jack my back… it hurts." Locke tried to get up but collapsed again almost immediately. He withered with pain as Jack leant over him.

"You'll be alright, it's probably just shock."

"No Jack, I can't walk…" A desperate wave of helpless panic started to overcome him.

"Calm down."

"No Jack… you don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"I've been through it all before." Jack's questioning look only seemed to add to Locke's distress.

"Before the crash… I was a paraplegic… That's why I couldn't save Boone… my legs gave way and I couldn't get to him, I really tried… It's this island, it gave me my legs back… but now it's taking them away from me again."

"Slow down Locke your not making any sense."

"I'm not crazy, I know what I'm talking about!"

"OK Locke I believe you, now just calm down so I can take a look at you."

At that moment Jack heard a rustling in the jungle and looked up to see Kate return.

"Did you find her?" he asked.

"No" Kate replied. "She just took off. Maybe she just needs more time."

Jack nodded then asked "do you think you could help me with John?"

Kate nodded. "Sure" she smiled.

Locke lay still for a while quivering under the pain whilst Jack took time to examine him. When it all seemed to become too much for him he took to whimpering like some wounded animal and Kate sat down beside him laying his head in her lap like she might with a sick child. She did her best to clean his head wound but Locke continually fidgeted in her arms making it very difficult to do it effectively.

Jack removed his torch from his pocket "John I need you to lie very still for me now ok. Try and go with the pain, don't fight against it. Just remember that pain is good alright… at least it means you can feel something". Locke winced as he nodded. Jack gently lifted one of Locke's tightly closed eyelids and shone his torch; he then did the same with the other one. Locke's pupils were dilated showing he was still in shock and obviously in a lot of pain.

Jack tried to talk to Locke as little as possible as it was clear that speech only distressed him and he preferred silence. Jack gently rolled up one of the legs to Locke's trousers and then the other in the hope of testing for a nerve response. It was then that he saw the large bloody bandage wrapped around Locke's right shin. Gently he unwrapped it and revealed a large gash in Locke's leg about 3 inches long.

"When did you get this?" he asked.

"A couple of days ago."

"How?"

"We were trying to bust open the hatch… piece of shrapnel pierced my leg."

"Who were? What hatch?"

Locke hesitated before replying "Me and Boone! The hatch we found in the jungle whilst looking for Claire."

Jack looked at Kate. "This will need tending to," he whispered. "It's infected, and to tell the truth it's a wonder he's not got a fever. It looks like he's been trying to treat it himself, but it's far too deep I'm afraid for natural treatments."

"I'll go back to the caves and see if I can't bring something back to help with Locke's pain." said Kate. Jack nodded.

Kate gently manovered Locke's head off her lap and onto the forest floor. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Locke began to take deeper and more raspier breaths in an attempt to stop himself fighting against the pain. Jack gently lifted his wrist and fumbled about with his fingers for Locke's pulse… he found it… slow and shallow but it was going at a steady pace.

"So what's the diagnosis Jack?" Locke whispered

"Well I think you should have told me about your condition earlier… I could have helped you…"

"And what could you have really done for me Jack? The so-called doc's at the hospital couldn't do anything to save me my dignity so what chance do you have out here, miles from nowhere, no medical supplies, no equipment…"

"We could have kept an eye on you, nobody else need ever have known, it didn't have to come to this…"

"Owww!" Locke doubled over again.

"You have more pain? Where?"

"My stomach" Locke cried.

Jack looked confused. That shouldn't be. Locke had nervous problems… that shouldn't be effecting his stomach. He gently lifted up Locke's t-shirt and pressed down. Locke cried out.

"Sorry John" Jack sighed.

"What's happening to me?" Locke cried.

"I don't know John" Jack confessed. "I have a feeling that your back pain is due to the infection in your leg. It's spreading to your spine and that's why your in pain… But I can't explain the rest."

Locke lay there in silence for a while, until the pain seemed to subside and he tried to sit up. "Oh no you don't" said Jack "Just lay there for a bit." Jack gently laid a hand on his shoulders and pushed him back down again.

They both sat for a while in the quiet, Locke seemed more relaxed and after a while of no talking between them Jack thought he might have fallen asleep.

"How do you feel now?" he asked

To his surprise Locke replied. "A little tired."

"Any dizziness?"

"A little."

"I think you're dehydrated." Jack said. "As soon as Kate gets back I want to see you drink something no matter how bad you feel."

They waited a further hour before Kate finally returned. She had brought with her water, blanket's, aspirin and anti-biotics for Locke and something to dress his wound with.

"Here take these now." Jack said handing Locke two lots of pills. Kate helped Locke drink from the bottle she had brought with her whilst Jack dressed his leg.

"Watch it" Locke cried as Jack re-bandaged his leg.

"Can you feel that then?"

"… Yes… yes I can" he replied.

"How about walking? Ready for a try?" Jack asked after a few moments.

"Might as well" said Locke, "but you may need to help me."

Kate helped Locke to a sitting position, then Jack wrapped his arms around Locke's waist, taking care not to put too much pressure on his stomach, and Locke threw his arm over Jacks shoulders. They took a few cautious steps together, but although Locke stumbled and was still obviously weak he could defiantly walk.

"Congratulations John" Jack smiled. "Come on, lets get you back to camp. Kate could you pass me that blanket please?"

Although it took all evening to reach the caves and many stops on the way so the group could rest and Jack could tend to Locke, they finally made it.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 

Charlie was the only one still awake when they arrived. He himself looked pale and as though he had had a rough night. But something told Jack it was no-where near as rough as Locke's.

"Hey what's up with John?" Charlie asked Kate as Jack helped Locke settle in one of the near by caves.

"He was taken ill yesterday afternoon." She explained. "It's taken us all the night to get him back here."

"Will he be alright?"

"Hey, his got Jack taking care of him. You of all people should know he's in the best possible hands?"

"Hey?"

"Flu."

"Oh… yeah… right… yeah yeah… the best possible hands."

"You OK Charlie?"

"Yeah sure, never better."

Kate pulled Charlie's face towards her and it was only then that she noticed how pale he was.

"Charlie?"

"I'm fine!"

"No… your not… look, go and get some rest will you? You look like you've been up half the night. Jack's busy with John at the moment, so if you promise you'll go to Jack at the first moment he's free we won't say any more about it. Otherwise I'm going to get him to take a look at you."

Charlie didn't reply. In all honesty he hadn't slept a wink. He had sat up all night waiting for Jack to return. He felt so bad and part of him wanted to refuse Kate's offer, force her to get Jack to look at him, but that wasn't fare on John.

"OK."

"OK what?"

"I'll go get some sleep."

"Is that it?"

"And I'll speak to Jack at his next free moment."

"You promise?"

"Yes… I promise."

"Alright. I'll say no more about it."

Charlie stumbled off in the direction of his bed. Kate came to check on him later but he was still awake… she had told him Jack wouldn't be much longer now, Locke was now resting. However, before Kate could get Jack to look at him Charlie was asleep. His sleep was disturbed and he woke up briefly several times, once to find Jack leaning over him but he didn't say anything and drifted back into sleep.

A few hours later he awoke again this time doubled over in silent pain. He suppressed a cry and cried tears of pain and frustration instead, he tried to get up but couldn't so he dragged himself into a sitting position and sat there rocking. He didn't know how long for. The next thing he remembered was Kate approaching him.

"How do you feel?"

He couldn't answer. Her voice seemed so distant, and he was in too much pain.

"Charlie, what's wrong?"

She was scared. He seemed totally unable to respond to her, he was rocking and shaking. She reached for his arm and as she touched him he seemed to return to her with a sudden jolt of pain.

"Don't touch me… please don't touch me…OWW!" Her touch, his speaking, everything seemed to hit him with a sudden and painful jolt to his stomach and he doubled over in pain almost unable to breath.

"Right… I'm getting Jack" she said and was gone…

"Charlie?" Jack approached him with caution, "Kate…"

"Help me Jack!"

"Help you? Are you in pain Charlie…"

All Charlie could do was nod.

"Where?" Jack asked leaning closer, but Charlie seemed unable to reply. "Tell you what you just squeeze my hand if I'm right." Charlie nodded and weakly took Jack's hand.

"Your stomach?"

Charlie gave Jacks hand one short hard clear squeeze.

"OK Charlie. Do you mind if I examine you?"

Charlie shook his head, what ever it took to make the pain go away.

"OK Charlie just try to relax." Jack said soothingly as he lifted up Charlie's t-shirt and pressed down on his stomach. Charlie began to whimper with pain but let Jack continue. Jack took out his flash light for the second time in two days and shone it in Charlie's eyes, gently holding his eyelids open with his thumb. Like Locke's his pupils were dilated. Finally he pressed his fingers to Charlie's frozen wrist, his pulse was also slow but unlike Locke's it was irregular. Jack became worried.

"Do you have pain anywhere else? Your chest?"

"Just a bit" Charlie managed.

"Kate" Jack turned to her urgently. "Can you help me get Charlie into the caves please?"

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I think I know what's wrong with both Charlie and Locke."

"What?"

"They have a virus."

"A virus? Well what sort of a Virus could do this to a person."

"Any virus can be pretty aggressive for someone who has a weak immune system."

"A week immune system?"

"Locke has an infection doesn't he?"

"Well yes… but what about Charlie?"

"You can't tell anyone about this… Charlie's going through withdrawal."

"Withdrawal?"

"He's a recovering heroine addict!"

"What?… Poor Charlie."

"Look don't tell anyone I told you that OK?"

Kate helped Jack lift Charlie. Together they carefully supported his small weight and manovered him into the cave where Locke was. Jack supported Charlie whilst Kate made him up a make shift bed on the floor. All the time Charlie never said a word. He was totally happy to allow Jack to take of him, he was just so glad he didn't have to face this on his own now.

When Kate had finished making the bed Jack lifted Charlie into it. There were plenty of blanket's to keep him warm and cushions Jack had collected from the plane. Jack wanted to see Charlie drink something but all he wanted was sleep.

"I'll leave him now." Jack said to Kate. "We need to warn the other's about this. I don't think it's life threatening but we don't want an epidemic on our hands.

Instead of calling the whole group together Jack and Kate decided to target individual people. Jack stayed at the caves to keep an eye on Charlie and Locke whilst Kate hit the beach.

At about 10 o clock Jack looked in on the two of them. Charlie was still sleeping quite soundly but Locke was awake and trying to get out of bed when Jack walked in on him.

"Hey, Locke what are you doing?" Jack asked, gently pushing him back down onto the bed.

"I need to know Jack."

"And what if you had fallen when I wasn't here? You could injure yourself further. Your legs still in a bad way… but I think you'll be glad to hear that I think I know why you're in so much pain."

"Yeah?"

"You have a virus."

"A virus?"

"Yeah Charlie has it as well. It's pretty nasty I think, but it's nothing life threatening. It seems to have targeted you both worse though because you have a weaker immune system."

Locke didn't reply. He looked exhausted.

"Here drink some of this." Locke took a couple of sips from the bottle Jack handed him. "Now try and get some more sleep. I'll be back soon… If Charlie wakes up just tell him I'm outside. If he doesn't wake up soon I may just have to wake him, I need to see him drink something."

As Jack left the caves Locke tried to settle.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3 

Jack noticed Kate come up from beach.

"How are they?"

"Everyone seems fine… accept Sawyer."

"Sawyer? Why? What's wrong with _him_?" Jack asked.

"Well it sounds like this virus." Kate replied.

'_Oh God that's all I need!' _Jack thought to himself. "How do you know?"

The night before Rose had woken to see Sawyer lying a little further up the beach. She had thought he was asleep but then he had began to shake. As she approached him she had seen that he was crying.

"You OK?" she had asked.

Sawyer didn't reply. But she had been shocked by just how pale he was. Rose decided to sit with him for a while to see if she could get him to talk to her. After a while without a word passing between them Rose had manovered Sawyer's head into her lap. He hadn't protested.

"Well that's not like Sawyer." Jack said as Kate related the tale to him.

"Yeah I know." She nodded.

"It hurts" Sawyer had cried after a while,

"What hurts dear?" Rose had asked, but Sawyer only responded "It hurts."

After that there was silence for what appeared to be a very long time. Then Michael had turned up. He had seen what was going on and wanted to know if he could do anything to help.

"Go away." Sawyer had screamed, "Why won't everybody leave me alone?"

"Shhhhhh" Rose had tried to calm him.

"I'm ok" he'd said to her, "Just stop fussing will you!" And he'd pulled himself up still doubled over and made his way towards his normal spot under the palm trees. He was still there when the others had woken up in the morning, doubled over in silent pain.

"I tried to speak to him myself when I was down there but he only ignored me" She said, "He's obviously in pain though."

"Well I suppose I'd better go and see what I can do." Said Jack, "I doubt he'll let me anywhere near him though."

"Well he does seem in quite a bad way." said Kate as Jack walked off in the direction that would lead him to the beach.

Jack found Sawyer dozing where Kate had left him. He gently shook him awake.

"Hey doc." Sawyer said mockingly as Jack's outline came into view. His speech was slurred and he was pale and sweating. "What brings you into this neck of the woods?"

"Kate said you haven't been feeling too good."

"And what do you care." Sawyer asked, although there was no hint of his usual hostility towards Jack.

"People are worried about you." Said Jack.

"No they're not." Said Sawyer, "They all hate me, and so do you."

"I'm trying to help you Sawyer."

"Oh your gonna look after me are you?" he mocked.

"Yes I am" said Jack resolutely.

Sawyer didn't respond. He was dejected and deep down he didn't want to argue with Jack now. He

wanted Jack to help take his pain away.

"Will you let me examine you?" Jack asked.

Sawyer just nodded.

''_Thank God' _Jack thought to himself. He hadn't expected Sawyer to be in such a state. Sitting here he actually felt sorry for him, although he would never say anything. That might be too much for Sawyer.

"Kate said that you appeared to be in some pain last night. You kept saying to Rose "It hurts"…"

"I don't remember"

"You in any pain now?"

Sawyer curled himself inwards tighter and began to cry.

"I'll take that as a yes" said Jack, "can you tell me where?"

But Sawyer seemed unable to talk…

"Is it in your stomach?" Jack asked. Sawyer nodded.

"Right…" said Jack, switching into full medical mode now he was pretty sure of what it was, "Sawyer I want you to lie on your back for me as flat as you can alright?" He helped Sawyer into a lying position. He lifted Sawyers t-shirt and made to press on his stomach but had barely applied any pressure at all before Sawyer cried out in pain and tried to curl up.

"It's ok Sawyer, I'm not going to do that again." Jack said soothingly, "I'm sorry."

Jack removed his torch from his pocket and flicked it on. He gently lifted the lid to one of Sawyer's eyes and shone the torch; he did the same with the other. Just as with Locke and Charlie Sawyers pupils were dilated. He flicked his torch off and put it back in his pocket, before taking Sawyer's wrist to check his pulse. Unlike Charlie's it was warm and clammy to touch. Sawyer's pulse was slow and slightly irregular, which worried Jack slightly. He thought that Sawyer and Charlie must have a more severe form of the virus than Locke who looked better already.

"I think I know what's wrong with you." Jack said "What I don't know is how long it will take to clear."

"Yeah and…" said Sawyer

"There's a virus going through the camp. Locke has it and Charlie has it, your symptoms fit theirs. Will you do something for me?"

"What?"

"Come back to the caves with me."

"No way man."

"Look Sawyer I can't help you unless you co-operate with me."

"Well maybe I don't want your help."

"Look I haven't got time for this. I have to get back to the caves. I may not like you and you may not like me but I'll make a deal with you. You can stay here one more night. If you feel better by tomorrow then fine but if not will you come to the caves with me tomorrow morning?"

Sawyer just sat there, He knew he'd been beaten. He nodded his head.

"Right, I'll see you tomorrow then." Jack said as he rose from the sand. Sawyer just sat there as he walked away, no sarcastic remarks, nothing.

"How is he?" Kate asked when she saw Jack coming up from the beach.

"Well he's been better." Said Jack. "But he wouldn't come back to the caves with me."

"Typical Sawyer." Said Kate crossly folding her arms.

"Well it's up to him. I doubt I could do any more for him up here anyway. I mean it's not like we're overwhelmed with medical supplies is it? Anyway he's agreed that if he feels no better by tomorrow he'll let me bring him back with me… "

"Is it this virus thing?"

"Yeah I think so. He's symptoms match."

"Is it bad?"

"I don't know, it might be. He's symptoms appear worse than Charlie's or Locke's, but he's defiant and that can only be a good sign." Jack sighed.

Suddenly there was a cry from within the cave where Charlie and Locke had been placed.

"I'll go" Jack said

"Are you sure… I mean you're sure you don't need any help?"

"Nah, it's ok, I'll be fine… you just go and get some rest, you look done in. I have enough on my plate without you keeling over on me."

At this remark Kate looked disheartened. She wished Jack could start to see her for more than what she was, and this remark only made her feel more of a burden.

"Look, I didn't mean it like that." He said, "You're tired, we all are, but I'm worried about you."

"Yeah well I'm fine." Kate said getting defensive.

"No Kate you're not… none of us are. We're stuck on a desert island with little or possibly even no chance of rescue, with polar bears and monsters and God knows what else. No-one has any privacy here, I've seen the way you look at that model plane of yours, it means a lot to you doesn't it? It hurts you to look at it and yet you're drawn to it every hour of every day. I'm sorry but I can't believe you are a killer Kate…"

"Yeah well maybe we are not all who we seem to be. You don't know me Jack, as far as you know Kate might not even be my name, and I'm sick and tired of people talking as though they know me, when… how can anybody else claim to know who I am when I don't even know myself?"

"Kate…" Jack called after her as she began to back off and make her way back down the trail they had just come… back to the beach.

"I'm fine Jack. I'll be fine. I can take care of myself…"

"But Kate…" A further cry from inside the cave distracted him from any further protests. He turned her back on her and sprinted for the caves, he never saw as Kate turned back, staring at him for a while, before disappearing off into the forest.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Jack was up at the crack of dawn the next morning to go down to the beach and check on Sawyer. It suddenly occurred to Jack that he hadn't asked Sawyer how long he had been feeling so bad, he was so wrapped up with his symptoms here and now. How long had it been since the man last ate, or even drank?

He gathered some fruit together and filled a bottle with fresh drinking water and made his way back to the beach. When he got there he saw Sawyer sitting where he had left him the night before and… Kate!

"Kate?" Jack asked. "How long have you been here?"

"Shhhhhhhh" she said and pointed to a sleeping Sawyer "Most of the night." She whispered. "I couldn't sleep."

"How is he?" he asked.

"Worse" sighed Kate. "His in a lot of pain."

"Did he say how long he's been feeling like this?"

Kate shook her head.

"Right… Sawyer… Sawyer?" Jack shook him gently. Sawyer awoke gradually, and groaned when he saw Jack.

"You again doc?"

"How you feeling?"

"I'd feel a lot better for not seeing you!"

"Kate tells me the pain is getting worse?" Jack said.

Sawyer flopped down on his back and nodded. He knew Jack knew he was in pain so what was the point in hiding it from the one person who could help him. Jack lifted up Sawyers t shirt and pressed down on his stomach. Sawyer grimaced but didn't cry out.

"When did you last eat anything?" Jack asked.

"A few days ago."

"Drink?"

"I dunno, about two days."

"How long have you been feeling like this Sawyer?"

"About three days."

"I've brought you some food and water."

"Hey doc do I look hungry?"

"Well I need to at least see you drink something. You're probably dehydrated… Drink this." He said handing Sawyer the bottle. "You'll feel better."

Sawyer took the bottle but didn't drink from it.

"Come on." Kate said and took the bottle from Sawyer. She unscrewed the top and placed the wet nozzle to his lips. He sipped it, then took long desperate gulps as though he couldn't stop himself. His body had got a taste for the water now, a feel for it and some instinct deep down inside of his was urging him to drink, drink hard and fast before the bottle was taken away again.

"That's it" Jack said removing the bottle from his lips "Not too much now. Can you walk?"

"Dunno"

"Will you try?"

"Why, where 'r we going?" Sawyer's speech was very slurred.

"The caves, we had a deal."

"Can't you just give it a rest doc?"

"No." Jack said adamantly.

"Well you can't carry me up there kicking and screaming."

"Personally I don't think you're in any fit state for that" Jack said helping Sawyer to his feet. Sawyer didn't resist, he knew Jack had the upper hand, and to be honest another evening spent here alone on the beach terrified him. There was nobody here who really knew him, really cared. He might hate Jack but Jack was the one looking out for him now. He'd never imagined this; he'd always thought that if he were sick Jack would just leave him to get on with things.

Together Jack and Kate supported Sawyer as they made their way back to the caves; they were practically supporting Sawyers whole weight between them. He walked but barely, his feet going off in all directions like some poor drunkard who had got himself lost and didn't know how to get back home. Sawyers frustration at this was clear, eventually he gave up and let his legs hang limp, hoping that Jack and Kate could support him the rest of the way.

After the two of them had settled him in a cave a-joining Jack's Jack turned to Kate.

"I'm sorry about what happened yesterday."

"It's ok…"

"No… I never meant to upset you Kate."

"I know."

"Are we ok now then?"

"Yeah," Kate smiled, almost laughing, "We're ok."

Jack gave a broad grin back.

"By the way I've been meaning to ask you… what was all that about yesterday?"

"What?"

"Who was crying?"

"Oh just Charlie… he had a nightmare."

"Oh…" Kate broke off and an awkward silence insured. "Well…" she was just about to resume the conversation when a man broke through the trees. He looked to be middle aged, and was desperately trying to catch his breath.

"Hey dude, you ok?" asked Hurley, who was standing nearby.

"I need Jack" he puffed.

"George isn't it?" Jack asked approaching him. "What's up?"

"It's Faith?"

"Faith?"

"Yeah, Faith, nervous girl, environmentalist, had a rather nasty laceration to her leg when we first

arrived…"

"Yeah I know" replied Jack somewhat impatiently. "But what's wrong?"

"I dunno."

"What do you mean?"

"Well she's had a bit of an accident."

George explained how Faith had been helping to collect wood for the signal fires when she had come out of the forest to find Jin and Michael arguing. She had tried to intervene but at that moment Michael had thrown quite a nasty punch which struck her in the left side of the jaw.

"Is she conscious?" Jack asked.

"In and out." George replied.

"Right I'm coming. Kate you stay here, I need someone to keep an eye on Sawyer whilst I'm gone."

Kate nodded. Jack followed George back into the forest on the path back to the beach.

When they reached the beach there was a whole group of people crowding around a young woman who looked to be her early twenties. As they drew closer they could hear a commotion, further investigation showed that Faith had come round but was anything but calm. Sayid was holding her down desperately trying to calm her.

"Get off me, leave me alone."

"Faith, listen to me…"

"It's ok." Jack said taking control of the situation immediately. Sayid automatically backed off and allowed Jack to take his place. "Faith just calm down ok, you're going to be alright. Remember me? Jack… the doctor."

Faith nodded.

"Now try to calm down, breath… in, out, in, out…"

Faith followed Jack's lead and slowly she began to grow calmer.

"Good, that's very good Faith. How's your head?"

"It hurts."

Jack nodded. The main issue now was making sure that Faith remained calm, they had to keep her talking for as long as possible, until she became coherent.

"How's your leg?" he asked.

Faith nodded, "Good, better thanks… What happened?"

"You were knocked out, not for very long I don't think but you need to stay calm. You're gonna have quite a nasty bruise I'm afraid. How do you feel now?"

"I dunno" she replied "A little better I think. I'm cold."

"That's probably the shock… Sayid could you fetch me some blankets please?"

Sayid made off to get fetch blankets for the camp further up the beach.

"I'm tired" Faith told Jack.

"It may be concussion." Jack replied "It's best you don't sleep just yet."

Sayid returned with the blankets. Jack helped Faith into a sitting position and draped them over her shoulders.

"Thanks" she said.

"Don't mention it…"

"JACK" he heard Kate cry…

Suddenly Kate came crashing through the trees, as Jack turned he saw the urgency on her face and it shocked him to his very core.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Locke's in some distress" she sighed.

"Is he in any pain?" Jack asked.

"I dunno" she replied. "He wont say anything"

Jack gave Faith a questioning look then looked around at the other survivors around her. She would be alright now he figured, Sayid was there to look after her, and George, and she was a lot calmer now.

"Make sure she's kept warm and gets plenty of rest now" he turned to George, "She'll be fine…" Then before George had any time to reply he set off with Kate, at a run, back to the caves.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5 

When they got there Locke, to Jack's surprise, was in tears, but even more surprising was who was there comforting him… Sawyer. Sawyer was incredibly pale but there was a look of genuine concern in his eyes.

"What happened?" Jack asked him.

"I dunno" Sawyer responded. "I just woke up and he was wailing like some wounded animal. He kept on saying "Why?"

Jack looked around suddenly realising that Charlie was gone. "Where's Charlie?" he asked.

"Claire took him" Sawyer responded. "She thought he would be more comfortable with her in her tent"

Suddenly Sawyer swayed and Jack leaped to catch him before he fell. "OK" Jack said. "Back to bed with you… Kate could you help him, I want to talk to John"

"Sure" Kate replied, "Come on solider" she said smiling as she supporting Sawyer as they made their way slowly back to Sawyer quarters.

Jack just gave John a concerned but questioning look but Locke just glanced at him with pained but shielded eyes and Jack knew that Locke was not going to tell him anything.

"OK" he said at last, "John you look exhausted, you need rest."

"Don't tell me what I need Jack…"

Jack was silent for quite a long time. He didn't know how to react or respond to Locke anymore… didn't know how to comfort him. Yes comfort him, John Locke of all people was sitting here in front of Jack needing comfort, reassurance, and here Jack was unable to give it to him. After a while Jack turned to face Locke who was lying back down on the bed, staring off into space in deep contemplation (no change there then).

"I never asked you how it happened?"

"How what happened?" Locke responded.

"Was it an accident?" Jack asked.

"More like a crime" Locke responded, "Some jerk in a car"

"Oh God… I'm sorry" Jack replied sincerely.

"Sure…" Locke replied bitterly, but then his demeanour changed. He sat up slowly and turned to face Jack. "Don't be" he smiled "wasn't your fault, nothing you can do. I never did understand people who apologised for things that were entirely out of their hands."

"Even so…"

"Jack…" Locke responded before Jack could even finish what he was about to say "I used to feel bitter of course. The taunting angered me the most, grown men acting as though they were still kids in the school playground. They hated me for the games I played, war games mostly, but what they didn't understand was that was the only way I could feel normal."

"Normal?"

"We all have limits Jack, boundaries set that we have no right to cross. It's just that some people's limits are a lot more obvious than others."

Jack nodded in silent understanding.

"What was it in the end?" Jack asked.

"Partial nerve damage." Locke responded, "They operated but surgery was unsuccessful… and so my life sentence was carried."

"Did you ever find out the name of your surgeon?" Jack asked.

"His name was Christian Shepard" Locke responded…


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6 FLASHBACK Christian's POV 

It had been a busy day for Christian Shepard, but as he sat sipping coffee in the doctor's lounge on the fourth floor of the New York hospital he contemplated his successes of the day. He was a firm believer that success was a great confidence booster and as a result should never be brushed off too lightly. Failure however should never be dwelt upon for too long, it was something he had always made sure to impress upon his son Jack – who as he looked up was dozing exhaustedly on the couch in front of him – never become personally involved with patients, that way it's that much easier to walk away at the end of each day knowing you did the best possible job. At that moment he noticed Jack's cup begin to slip from he's increasingly failing grip and he jumped up to grab it before it spilled the last remaining drops of it's hot, brown contents. As he looked up he smiled, it was a rare moment of affection that mostly went unexpressed between the two of them.

Suddenly Christian's bleeper went off, a loud nagging whine designed to wake even the most practically comatosed doctor from the bliss of their dreamy wonderland if they were ever needed, and as if on cue Jack started awake.

"It's ok it's mine." Christian reassured his son.

"Dad?"

"I'd better see to this," he said indicating his bleeper "you go back to sleep." But he needn't have wasted his breath, as he left the comfort of the doctor's lounge Jack had already returned to what looked like a very deep sleep.

As Christian exited the lift at the ground floor of the hospital the emergency room was a buzz of frantic activity. At first he did not notice anything alarming, there were quite a few patients waiting to be seen, the odd unexplained stomachache here, the frequent cuts of varying severity there, nothing out of the ordinary.

"Doctor!" a frantic voice shouted "in here…" he turned to see a nurse calling out to him from one of the emergency rooms, he rushed over.

"What do we have?" he asked.

"Adult male, mid to late forties, gunshot wound to the left shoulder – probably just a flesh wound but there is no obvious exit site."

"Right… lets take a look at him." Christian said, turning to make his way over to his patient.

"Ummm doctor there's something else…" the nurse added, "the paramedics were saying the patient was complaining of severe neck and back pain when they arrived at the scene. Apparently witnesses say that the shooter drove off before turning around and coming at the victim whilst he was down, he didn't stop, not even when he hit him."

"Right." Christian sighed and nodded before turning to examine his patient who was semi-conscious and letting out a pained groaning… "Sir, sir can you hear me?"

"Helen!"

"Helen?" Christian asked confused.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know" Christian replied, "Your in the hospital. Can you tell me your name sir?"

"Helen!"

"I'll get someone to find her for you." One of the nurses explained placing a comforting hand on the injured man's arm, "Don't worry."

"Can you tell me your name please sir?" Christian repeated.

"John…" the man moaned.

"John what?"

"…Locke."

Locke's POV 

Locke wanted to scream. Every jerk of the flimsy hospital gurney brought on a new wave of intense pain that surged through his back and neck, like a million razor sharp pins had been inserted into his spine all at once. For a while he had been fading in and out of blackness and when he finally came to he could hear voices, far off at first but they gradually became clearer until finally he could hear what they were saying. A man was bending over him:

"Sir, sir can you hear me?"

Suddenly another wave of panic hit him, more desperate than anything he had felt before, Helen! Where was she? Had she been with him when it all happened? Was she alright?

"Can you tell me your name sir?"

His name? What was his name? He couldn't remember. He just kept saying the first name that came into his head, "Helen!"

He felt a comforting hand placed on his arm and another surge of pain pulsated through his body. The voices were becoming more distant again as he fought to stay conscious.

"Can you tell me your name please sir?" the man repeated. The answer came to Locke painfully slowly but he knew it was just on the tip of his tongue…

"John…" he muttered.

"John what?"

"…Locke." He groaned before everything went black.

…

When Locke regained consciousness a familiar grogginess overwhelmed him. As he opened his eyes they met with the harsh light of the hospital room and he raised a hand instinctively to shield them from the glare. As he became more accustomed to it's fluorescent glow he opened his eyes wider and noticed the familiar figure of a woman dozing by his bedside, her limp figure stretched across his legs… but why couldn't he feel her weight pressing against his body?

"Hel…Helen?" He whispered, she stirred. "Helen?" he stroked the back of her hand lovingly as she opened her eyes.

"John?" she mumbled, then as if in sudden realisation she jumped up "JOHN!… nurse, nurse!" she cried.

"Yeah, it's me" he smiled as a nurse rushed in.

"His awake," Helen grinned at her, "his awake!"

"I'll page Doctor Shepard" She said, before exiting.

"What's all the fuss about?" Locke asked.

"You mean you don't remember?"

"I just remember pain." He smiled.

"Oh John…" she choked, tears in her eyes, "I'm sorry."

"What for?" He asked, stroking her hair.

"There was nothing anyone could do, the doctor's said it was just a case of too little, too late!"

"What is it Helen?" Locke asked, "Come on, you're starting to scare me."

"Everybody did their best, Doctor Shepard was great, but in the end they said the nerve damage was just too great… I'm sorry John they're saying you will probably never walk again!" She broke down in his lap.

"I'll kill him" Locke growled, "I'll kill him for what he's done to me!"

"No John you don't understand, it's nobody's fault, there was nothing…"

"You don't get it do you?"

"Get what?"

"My father! He was the one driving the car…"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 

Jack was in a daze, he knew he was running so hard he could feel the jar of his feet as they came into contact with the harsh ground. He could feel the strain and pull of his muscles as he pushed himself harder and harder to escape from the harsh reality this new island existence was forcing him to confront. Not to escape it entirely or run away from his problems – that wasn't Jack's way – but just to escape, if only for a little while, and spend some time alone to reflect on some of the things that had happened in the past few weeks since the crash. He figured he had a possible few hours to himself, Locke was now resting, Kate was there for Sawyer if he needed anything (not that that was much of a comfort to him) and Charlie was already on the steady road to recovery thanks to Claire and the tentative, neutering way with which he had handled his care. It seemed as though nothing Locke had told him was sinking in properly. Jack was in a daze, Locke must have put two and two together, so why had he told him? To make him feel even worse about his father than he already did? Or was there something else? Something Jack didn't understand? He couldn't quite read Locke. Older he may be, but wiser? Sometimes Jack questioned this, but there was something about Locke that always made him appear one step ahead.

Suddenly Jack felt an angry tug in his knee and it immediately struck him that he was still running. He came to an abrupt halt, looking around him as he realised he had no idea where he was. How far had he ran? Judging by the pain in his feet too far to follow a short trail back or shout out in the hope that someone may respond. _Why had he not followed his own advice and stuck to the familiar path through the jungle? _Panic started to set in as he sat down on a nearby boulder; he hadn't felt anything like this since the day before he had been forced to operate on his wife Sarah. She had still yet to become his wife at this point, but Jack had loved her from the moment he first laid eyes on her. She had been attractive, young, a real fighter… and she had provided Jack with just the sort of challenge he thrived on – nothing much had changed the last time Jack had seen her, apart from one thing, the last time Jack had seen her she had been filing for a divorce, it seemed as though love had turned to dust and each new day saw them growing further and further apart – God why was he been forced to confront all this all over again? Hadn't he been through enough? He got to thinking about Kate, they had had their fare share of ups and downs, did she really love him… in the way that he _knew_ he loved her? Or was she destined to be the second woman in Jack's life to break his heart? Was her destiny already married to Sawyer's? He didn't think he could bare it if she chose Sawyer over him, but… NO, he must not let his mind wander, he had to focus on here and now, on getting himself out of this sorry mess he had gotten himself into. He looked up at the sky, which from where he was sitting was not completely obstructed by the surrounding jungle, was it him or was it darker?

Closing his eyes he started to count 1, 2, 3… suddenly he heard the crunch and snap of the tough tropical vegetation as if someone was walking through the undergrowth "4, 5" he said out loud, not wanting to open his eyes again in fear of what he might see. As he did so however a relieved smile spread across his face as he saw the familiar figure appearing through the clearing:

"KATE!" he exclaimed.

"Jack," she grinned.

"How did you know where to find me?" he asked.

"I followed your trail, you know it's a good job I'm fit," she laughed, only slightly out of breath "you're a tough one to track."

"How long have you been following me?"

"About an hour," she responded, "Sun came by and offered to keep an eye on Locke and Sawyer, she seemed to be under the impression I could do with a break." She smiled. "You know I probably would have caught up with you sooner, apart from the speed at which you were running, and I got lost a couple of times… had to double back and find your trail again. I don't think were too far from camp."

"We'd better be heading back." Jack said, "I want to check up on Faith and I can't stray away from Locke and Sawyer too long."

"Jack…" she blurted out, "I kinda wanted to talk to you about Sawyer. That's part of the reason why I followed you out here."

"What is it Kate?" Jack asked concerned, "Is he any worse?"

"No… he's fine," she reassured him, "There's no change there… he…"

"He what?"

"He told me he loves me." She responded, desperate to get this part of the conversation over and done with.

"Oh…" Jack felt as though the bottom had dropped out of his abdomen. This is exactly what he had been dreading, "is that it?" he asked, trying to pretend it was no big deal.

"What do you mean is that it?" Kate asked, shocked.

"Well for a moment there I thought it was something really serious." He replied.

"Jack…" she pleaded.

"What?" he asked.

In a moment he noticed a questioning look pass across Kate's face as though she was about to do something that she was not entirely sure was the right thing to do. In an instant this changed to an expression of determination and absolute certainty as she embraced Jack, pulling him down by the neck to her level, and their lips met in a passionate and genuine kiss.

She smiled as the two of them separated. "I told him I loved you," She said, "I'm sorry Jack I couldn't think how to tell you. I'm not very good at this sort of thing."

"That makes two of us," Jack grinned.

"So then," Kate asked, "say something! Have I just made a massive fool out of myself or what?"

"Come here…" Jack laughed as he pulled her closer to him. Nobody noticed the two as their lips met for a second time. Jack felt almost complete, he would have felt complete if it hadn't been for the nagging in the back of his mind. There was no denying Locke's revelation, his father, threw a black cloud over the scene that could not be ignored…


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8 

Jack checked on Locke early the next morning just after he looked in on Sawyer who was sleeping soundly. He had heard that Locke had had a rough night and sure enough when he looked in on him he found Locke awake, laying down on his back staring off into space.

"Hey John." He said as he entered, Locke snapped out of his contemplation, "How are you feeling today?"

"Better." Locke smiled. "Thanks to you Jack. I know what you did for me out there the other day can't have been easy."

"No…" Jack replied, before continuing, "Look if you feel up to it this morning I need to take a closer look at your leg. At the very least you'll need your bandages changing, and you may need stitches."

"Fine by me" Locke smiled.

Jack smiled back. "I'm afraid it's not going to be very pleasant" he said "I could try giving you a sedative if I need to cut away any of the flesh around the wound but there's no guarantee you won't wake up anyway as soon as I start the procedure."

"You've got to do what needs to be done Jack," Locke replied.

After a while of examining Locke's leg Jack looked up.

"I think you'll be alright" he said "The flesh is pretty healthy and there's no lingering signs of infection. We may get away with just stitching it."

"Whatever you think best Jack." Locke replied.

"Do you have a favourite colour?" Jack asked

"Pardon?"

"The thread… we have red or black?"

"Plain old black." Locke smiled

"This is going to sting a bit," Jack warned.

"That's ok, I'm no stranger to pain."

Locke flinched as the needle penetrated his skin for the first time.

_As Jack settled into the constant rhythmic pattern of stitching Locke's leg his mind began to wander. Maybe it was the fact that this was a minor process he had been through so many times before, he started to think about the first time he and Kate had met, had they been destined to come together since the crash? Had their meeting been more than just a chance meeting? What if Kate was the reason Jack had survived? He couldn't help but question what separated him from so many of those who had died, what separated any of them? Luck he figured, at the end of the day they were all just statistics, those who had died were just statistics. He got to thinking about the events of the previous evening; the kiss they had shared had been passionate and long lasting. Jack remembered the feeling of his lungs about to burst as his body desperately fought with him to breath, yet not wanting to pull away from Kate. Her body had been solid and clammy against his, her skin soft and delicate. The night they had spent together out in the jungle had been exotic, their tongues reaching for each other, tied in knots. Their bodies bound by invisible rope wound from the silent understanding and acceptance they shared. There was something about Kate Jack thought, something different. She could play vulnerable, there was no doubt that there were things in Kate's past that hurt her, scars that may never fully heal. But at the same time she could compete with the guys like no woman Jack had ever met before. Things had been different with Sarah, she had been much more dainty, someone to protect rather than to make love to… Kate was both. Sarah had been into shopping, pretty dresses, perfect make up, expensive perfume, getting her hair and nails done when she could afford it. She used to spend hours making herself look pretty for Jack whenever there was even the slightest suggestion of them going out… he **had** loved her – intensely – it had torn him apart the day she had left him. Jack had never known pain like that he had felt in the months that followed… but the love he felt for Kate was different somehow. She had chosen him over Sawyer, Jack could not forget this. He knew that if Sawyer cared for Kate as much as he himself did he would be going through emotional hell at the moment and he did not envy him… But Jack did not believe in destiny…_

"You know Kate asked me something very similar just after we crashed, when we first met out there in the jungle." Jack said coming out of his reflection.

"What's that?" Locke asked.

"About what colour thread." Jack replied. "Out there in the jungle, just before she fixed me."

"And is that how you view what your doing for me now? Fixing me?"

"I'm still here aren't I?" Jack replied.

"arr" suddenly Locke gritted his teeth in a pained wince and let out a breath so quietly as in hope Jack did not hear him.

"You OK Locke?" Jack looked up.

"Yeah…yeah…I'm fine." Locke replied. "The needle just stings a bit that's all."

Jack gave Locke a dubious look. He suspected that Locke was still in more pain than he made out, he was certainly very pale this morning Jack noticed.

"I'm nearly done now," he said, "Just a couple more stitches, it's a deep wound."

Locke went suddenly silent, turning his head away so he did not have to face Jack, and nodding in silent response.

"There, all done." Jack said as he tied off the last stitch, "you need to get some rest now Locke. I need to go and check on Sawyer again and Charlie. I will be going down to the beach later, but Sun will he here to keep an eye on you, so no wondering, you're still weak. If you need me send someone down to fetch me, I won't be far away."

"Hey what is this?" Locke strained to ask.

"I just don't believe you when you say you're fine Locke. You're too quiet, too secretive."

"We all have things in our past that we would like to keep secret Jack." Locke replied.

"The past does not matter, it's there here and now that concerns me."

"I'm fine."

"So you keep saying… look Locke I can't keep you here by force. If you really want to go, go, I can't stop you, but you needed my help and I gave it and in my professional opinion you still need to remain close to camp… there's still the possibility of a relapse… I could give you something to help you sleep." Jack suggested more gently.

"It's OK Jack, I'll manage." Locke responded.

"I'll be back to check on you later then." Jack said as he left. He didn't notice that as he did so Locke lay doubled up in silent pain.

Jack made his way down to the beach to check on Charlie. The worry of everything that had happened over the past few days was really beginning to way him down, and now he had the added concern for Locke. He had not been convinced by Locke's charade back at the caves. Locke may have been making every effort not to show Jack how ill he was actually feeling, but Jack was still the doctor. The tell tail signs of the sickness were still there, and Locke's attempts to avoid looking Jack straight in the eyes gave him the uneasy impression that things may be much worse than they initially appeared. He could only hope that Charlie was faring better.

As he stepped out onto the beach Jack noticed Claire standing around outside her tent, gently lulling her new baby boy to sleep. She hadn't got round to naming him yet, and with no official documentation to control every aspect of their life on the island there was no need to rush. As Jack drew closer he noticed how exhausted Claire looked, he hung back for a while watching as she affectionately brushed the stray strands of her son's fine blond hair away from his forehead whilst singing a rendition of 'Catch A Falling Star', at one point he noticed her stumble and decided he's presence had gone unnoticed long enough.

"Hey" he said, bending down so that he's figure met with Claire's gaze which, so far, had been lovingly fixed upon the tiny infant in her arms.

"Hey" she smiled, looking up.

"How you coping?" Jack asked.

"Alright," she nodded "He hardly allowed us a wink of sleep all night, but Charlie stayed up with him for most of the time… accept when he needed to feed."

Jack laughed "yes," he said "the only thing the father can't do for their child, pitty that most of the time a baby cries that's what they want."

"Charlie's not the father!" Claire glared at Jack defensively.

"Yeah… well…" Jack faltered, taken aback by her reaction "…he's as good as in this place."

Claire paused for a moment thinking, then suddenly she smiled, "yes, yes I suppose he is." She said.

Now that Claire was looking directly at Jack he began to notice things he hadn't when she had had her back to him only a few moments ago, her cheeks were very flushed. He frowned.

"Claire when was the last time you had something to drink?" he asked, placing his hand to her forehead to check her temperature.

"I haven't had much of a chance this morning," she admitted, "what with this little one, and Charlie, I guess I just forgot."

"You're very hot" Jack stated, almost too professionally. He opened his rucksack and handed Claire one of the many water bottles he transported from the caves to the beach daily. "Here," he said, "drink the lot, you need to take extra care of yourself now Claire, especially with this virus going around, you and your baby are more susceptible to things like that, at least until your both feeling a little stronger."

Claire smiled and nodded "Thanks."

"You may want to move your shelter further up the beach and away from the glare of the sun, get Sayid or Michael to help you with that, being in such close proximity to the heat probably isn't aiding Charlie either… how is he by the way?"

"Still a little weak I think. As I say he sat up with this little one all night so I could get some rest, but he was feeling a little sick when I woke up this morning so I've made him go and lie down."

"Well you certainly seem to have everything under control here." Jack grinned, "when Charlie wakes up just make sure you give him this…" he said handing her a single pill from a quickly dwindling pill bottle that he had just presented from the inside of his rucksack. "It's just simple aspirin but it should help."

"I will do." Claire nodded.

"Well I'll see you around then." Jack said, picking up his backpack and starting to walk away.

"Thanks Jack." Claire called after him.

Jack just turned to look at her and smiled.

As Jack walked on further up the beach he noticed Michael walking in his direction in deep contemplation. As he drew nearer he wasn't sure Michael had noticed him at first. However Michael must have noticed someone familiar out of the corner of his eye and did a double take before recognising Jack's presence.

"Hey," Jack greeted Michael with a smile.

"Hey, sorry Jack," Michael apologised "I was miles away."

"How you been?" Jack asked.

"What you mean with this virus thing going round?" Michael enquired. He smiled at Jack and nodded "I've been fine."

Jack smiled back, "How's Faith?" He asked.

Michael turned to look at her sitting in the shade of a near by palm tree where Jack had not observed her. "She's been a little woozy these past couple of days."

Jack looked on as Michael took a long hard look at Faith, and he smiled, it was as if Michael couldn't take his eyes off her.

"What?" Michael asked when he finally turned away from Faith to see Jack grinning beside him.

"Nothing…" Jack smiled "It doesn't matter."

Faith's POV 

Faith looked up from the shade of her chosen resting place. She could see Michael talking to Jack and frowned as Michael turned to look at her, were they talking about her? She supposed it was inevitable that Jack should be taking an interest in her condition, he was a genuine professional and she had to admit that she had hardly been in the best frame of mind when he had left her the other evening.

She started to think about Michael and smiled. Although she couldn't help but think that all the attention he had lavished on her over the past few days had been rather an unnecessary waste of his time he had been great all the same. Her heart leapt as, even from this distance, she saw Michael smile at her and raise his hand in silent greeting. Faith found herself doing the same in response as she noticed him and Jack making their way over, Jack was smiling. There was no denying over the past couple of days she had developed strong feelings for Michael, at first she had just put it down to her gratification for his kindness, but now she longed for more… she longed for every moment she spent with him, and now even the slightest glimpse of him brought the tell tail combination of great pain and joy to her heart that Faith knew could only mean one thing…

"Hey" Jack smiled down at her, "how you feeling?"

"Good" she responded shielding her eyes from the glare of the bright sunlight as she strained to look up at him.

"Good" he nodded in response. "Mind if I take a look at you?"

Faith shook her head. Jack knelt down to her level and she smiled, he gave her a long hard look as if studying her for subtle signs that she was alright and then smiled in response. He removed his small torch from his pocket and shined it in her eyes checking her pupils response. After that he made her do a whole host of exercises like following his finger and then examined the area of Faiths jaw that had been hit the other day. After a while he spoke to her…

"Well you appear ok." He told her "you're jaws still a little tender… I noticed you flinch when I touched it, but that's to be expected. Have you got any pain anywhere else?" Jack asked.

"No," Faith shook her head.

"No tenderness in the stomach."

"No I don't think so," Faith said.

As Faith said this Michael gave her a disapproving _'why don't you just tell him?' _look, and she looked up at him unsurely. Jack noticed Faith's glance at Michael and looked from one to the other.

"Faith?" he asked.

"I _have_ been quite sick these past few days." She admitted.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jack asked.

"I didn't want to waste your time." She told him.

"Faith you're not wasting anyone's time," Jack reassured her, "you need to start thinking more of yourself if you want to start getting along better on this island. You're not gonna last long if you don't even tell me when you're sick. So much goes on in this place that people are easily overlooked if they don't speak up for themselves. I'm not a mind reader." He smiled.

"I understand," Faith replied.

"…In that case do you mind if I examine you properly?" Jack asked.

Faith shook her head and smiled.

"OK… just start by laying down on your back… that's it," he said as he helped her into a lying position, "now I'm just going to lift up your t-shirt… alright I'm going to press down on your stomach, I need you to tell me if it hurts anywhere OK?" he looked at her.

"OK." She responded.

As Jack pressed down on Faith's stomach she was relieved that she experienced no pain or discomfort.

"Well…" Jack said, "You appear fine, it may be that the sickness was caused by the blow you received the other day, or it could have been totally unrelated… do you feel sick now?"

"Not as much as I haven been," she said, "I feel a little better today."

"Have you been sick at all?"

"No."

"Well that's something, there's not really anything more I can do I'm afraid, just make sure you drink and eat as much as you can, if you don't feel like food it doesn't matter for now, just make sure you get plenty to drink."

"I will." She said, "Thanks Jack."

"Don't mention it. I'd better be going," he said getting to his feet. "If you need me I'll be at the caves, I don't need to check on you again though, just make sure that if you have any concerns… and I mean anything, you come and find me, don't go keeping it to yourself."

As Faith watched Jack leave her attentions returned to Michael who she noticed was still standing over her. "You know," she said looking up at him, "I think I could do with a walk," she held out her hand and he helped her up. Maybe she would give things between them a while to settle, build on their friendship and see where things led, after all, what was the rush here?

_**Ok well that's chapter 8 up, sorry I've been so long in updating but I hope the length of this chapter makes up for that. I hope to update as soon as possible but I will have to see how I go. In the meantime please read and review, I read all reviews I get because it helps me to improve on my work so all reviews are greatly appreciated.**_


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9 

**Hey guys, sorry I've been so long in updating my work load caught up with me at last… anyway I've noticed that there haven't been any reviews lately, does this mean that people don't like what I'm writing or can people just not be bothered anymore lol? Anyway please READ and REVIEW.**

**EVENING AT THE CAVES – KATE AND SAWYER**

"So then freckles, a convict who digs the moral type, I never would have guessed," Sawyer smirked mockingly as Kate placed a soaking towel on his forehead. He had first shown signs of fever hours ago, and now was soaked with sweat.

"Just lay still," Kate signed, she had seen all this coming even before Jack had asked her to tend to Sawyer whilst he went to check on Locke. "Jack says you need to rest." She added.

"Who are you two kiddin?" Sawyer continued maliciously, "it'll never last… once we get rescued –"

"IF we get rescued!" Kate stated defensively.

"When we get rescued…" Sawyer grinned, getting some perverted joy out of the fact that his words were obviously having the desired effect on Kate. "Jack will go back to being the all high and mighty hero doctor, and, there's no escaping it Kate – you're going to jail."

Sawyer paused for just a brief moment as he spoke those harsh words of truth. He wanted to catch a glimpse of the look on Kate's face at that exact moment. There was something perverse about the pleasure he was taking in making Kate feel equally as miserable and worthless as he felt at the moment. She was the first woman he had ever truly loved… or at least felt this way about, and she had turned her back on him… or maybe it was just the sickness that was making him feel sorry for himself, either way he liked it.

"Jack won't be able to deal with the stigma of dating a convict," Sawyer persisted, "sure he will visit you at first, promise you all the usual crap such as he will always love you, always be there for you, but sooner or later he will tire of having to comfort you. Tire of waiting for you – you're a murderer Kate, there's no guarantee once they catch up with you, once you hear the sound of those prison gates closing behind you, that you will ever come out."

"And what makes you think a life with you would be any different Sawyer? Any better?" Kate shouted, tears welling up in her eyes, "Maybe on this island where there is a limit to how many one night stands you can have, but once you get out into that big wide world…"

"You're forgetting that I am a murderer too Kate…" Sawyer cut in "You see we're from the same mould you and me, we understand each other. At least you know your fate, my actions haven't yet caught up with me… maybe they never will, but then again maybe…" Suddenly Sawyer's whole body was overcome by mini convulsions as he began to shiver, "We're from the same mould you and me Freckles, we understand each other."

"I love Jack!" She snapped, but she didn't get very far. All of a sudden Sawyer's eyes bulged, he reached out helplessly for Kate, his chest heaving… "Sawyer? Sawyer what's happening?" Kate asked, all the anger evaporating from every fibre of her body, to be replaced by stone cold fear."

"K… Kate!" He wheezed, triggering a coughing fit.

"Don't worry," Kate's voice came out firm but reassuring, she was surprised she could still appear so much in control of herself when in reality all her insides had turned to jelly. "Don't talk, just breathe."

"I'm OK." Sawyer said after a while, the cough had slowly subsided and to Kate's relief what ever it was that had appeared to afflict him a few moments ago had faded as quick as it had come. "Don't tell me you were worried?" He asked her with a smile.

"Don't do that to me again," She glared back at him, although there was a hint of relief on her face as she did so. But then suddenly Sawyer paled, he quickly flung himself over onto his side facing away from Kate and vomited… again… and again.

"That's it I'm going to fetch Jack." Kate jumped up.

"…It won't last…" She heard Sawyer mumble under his breath as he gasped for air.

"Not for me, for you." She called back as she ran from the caves, suddenly feeling totally exhausted and wearied by her grief.

**EVENING AT THE CAVES – JACK **

Jack sat on the edge of the waterfall in the gradually descending darkness that signified the turn from late evening into early night. A breeze blew, but the weather was not particularly cold… it never was around here, and yet it chilled him to the bone. He had stayed a while talking with Locke, trying to get to the bottom of what was troubling him, but to no avail, Locke was still insisting he was well on the road to recovery. After a while Jack had insisted Locke needed to rest and had given him something to help him sleep, at first he had refused it as he had done earlier but Jack could detect his pain and knew the sleep he had managed to grab earlier in the day had been disturbed and restless. He had sat with Locke for what appeared to be hours after he had taken the pill until he was sure that he was well and truly asleep… if nothing else proper rest should speed up his recovery even if it could only provide tempory relief for his pain. Now he sat seemingly alone, lost in a trail of his own thoughts and contemplations… it was not often he got moments to himself like this and he was not sure whether he liked it or not. The sound of the waterfall was constant and soothing, a bit like a hypnotic drum beating regularly and lulling the listener into blissful sleep… or was that just Jack finally giving in to complete exhaustion? He couldn't tell.

"Hey, you OK?"

Jack turned startled, though not showing it much to see Hurley approaching him. His new companion's voice had felt harsh to his tired ears at first but Jack was well accustomed to the symptoms of exhaustion which most people would find uncomfortable at least, sometimes bordering on unbearable and he greeted Hurley with a friendly, if not slightly forced smile.

"Hey yourself," he said, "I'm fine."

"You sure dude? You look a bit… out of it." Hurley paused before saying, obviously trying to think of the correct description.

"Just a little tired." Jack smiled, "What with Locke and Charlie and now Sawyer I've had a lot to think about lately. I guess I can't have been sleeping properly."

"I just came up here to fill some of these," Hurley said indicating a rucksack full of empty water bottles, "I don't suppose you could give me a hand in filling them all?"

"Sure," Jack said before he had even thought about it, as Hurley began to unload the bottles and started filling the first one. There were eight of them in all. Jack didn't know whether they were all for Hurley himself or whether he was planning on sharing them around as he sometimes did. On the first evening of the crash it was Hurley who had taken it upon himself to distribute food and water to the hungry survivors, a job he sometimes still took upon himself to do, especially if someone was sick or unable to get up to the caves themselves for water. He had helped Claire out for one many a time during her pregnancy in this way. As Jack began filling the bottles he sought comfort in the monotony of the whole process and it was not until he was onto filling his fourth bottle that he heard the sound of someone else approaching. He turned, this time to see Dexter, a young man Jack had treated several times for severe dehydration during their first few days on the island.

"Hello Jack." Dexter greeted him rather formally. Jack assumed this was due to the fact that they hadn't actually spoken much since those first few days, Dexter living at the beach and Jack at the caves, but at least he had abandoned calling him by the name of 'Doctor' at last.

"Hi, Dexter isn't it?" Jack asked, trying to start up a conversation with the young man more than anything else.

"That's right" Dexter responded, "I just came up to get some water… I… I…" suddenly Dexter swayed and fell, fortunately Jack noticed just in time to pre-empt what was about to happen and sprang forward to catch him before he hit the ground.

"Dude, what's up with him?" Hurley asked Jack as he lowered Dexter to the ground.

"I don't know," Jack responded, all traces of tiredness gone now and totally alert. At a second glance Dexter still appeared fully conscious which was something, his cheeks now starting to glow and burn with embarrassment.

"Sorry," Dexter apologised, "I don't know what came over me."

"How do you feel now?" Jack asked.

"I never felt ill or anything in the first place." Dexter replied, "Just fuzzy all of a sudden. Normally when that's about to happen I can tell."

Jack placed his hand to Dexter's forehead to check his temperature. He pulled it away quite quickly looking concerned. "You're burning up," he told Dexter.

"I told you I feel fine." He responded, standing up.

Jack followed his lead, still looking concerned. He was about to question Dexter further when he heard he's name being called from elsewhere.

"Jack! JACK!"

"I'm here." He responded. As he turned Dexter managed to slip away unnoticed, he obviously didn't want anything further to do with Jack this evening. Kate came running out of one of nearby caves where Sawyer was supposed to be resting.

"Jack, it's Sawyer." Kate said.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked.

"I don't know," Kate replied. "Something's really wrong… we had an argument."

"What happened?"

"He seemed unable to catch his breath," Kate told Jack almost in tears, "But then he appeared to recover… and now he won't stop vomiting."

"I'm coming." Jack said jumping up, but Kate did not move. "Kate I'm going to need your help." Jack indicated for her to follow. He didn't hear as Kate muttered "It's my fault… it's all my fault," under her breath as she followed…


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 

Well here it is, the next chapter, sorry it's taken a while but please, please, please R&R!

As Jack set foot into the caves he was suddenly met with the overwhelming sourness of Sawyer's vomit, and to his horror blood. Sawyer lay choking, trying to force himself into a sitting position in the corner of the room, and, hoping that it was too dark and Sawyer was too out of it to notice that he was probably bleeding internally Jack made his way over to him. He was having trouble breathing and as Jack applied gentle pressure to his shoulders to try and manoeuvre him back into a lying position to roll him onto his side he noticed that his lips were tinged with grey.

"Sawyer this is anxiety." He tried to reassure him.

"No…" Sawyer choked, the effort causing him to shake and shiver triggering another coughing fit.

"Sawyer listen to me…listen to me." He demanded when he wasn't sure that Sawyer really was focusing on what he was saying, "Are you listening?"

Sawyer nodded.

"Remember when Shannon had her asthma attack?" Jack asked.

"How could I forget?" Sawyer sneered before doubling over in pain.

"Don't try and talk, just nod your head." Sawyer gave him a malicious glance as if to say 'I've answered the damn question already' before appearing to soften and nodded.

"She started to panic," he continued, "it's only natural, you think you're dieing and you try to fight against it, but you're not going to die Sawyer, I won't let you!" Jack turned as he heard Kate enter, "Where were you?" he asked.

"I…er…I needed to get my head together," she said, "sorry."

He smiled at her sympathetically "could you pass me the yellow pill bottle from inside my rucksack please?" he asked her.

"Sure" she said and started sorting through an array of water bottles and medical supplies (that Jack felt the necessity to carry with him wherever he went) for the bottle. "This it?" she asked pulling out a sickly yellow coloured pill bottle with a sorrily small amount of pills rattling around in the bottom.

"Yeah thanks," he said taking it from her, "Sawyer I want you to take one of these." He said tipping a single small pill out onto his hand and replacing the lid, before holding out his hand so that Sawyer could see the medication that he was offering him. Sawyer gave it a dubious look, "It'll make you feel sleepy," Jack explained "make you feel better. That way I can take a closer look at you."

To their surprise Sawyer did as Jack said, swallowing the pill down in one gulp, Jack smiled encouragingly at Sawyer as he looked at him, a glimmer of fear visible in the man's facial expression for a second before his face hardened once more.

"It'll be OK Sawyer." Kate tried to reassure him, but Sawyer only offered her a malicious glance in return. He was blaming her for this, she could see it written all over his face. He hated her… and Kate could quite understand why. It was her fault all this had happened, Sawyer was sick and she should have had the self-restraint not to fight back. She knew this now, she had known all this then but the anger and hurt had been too fresh – too painful – for her to simply sit back and allow it to control her, she had to be in control of her own actions, in control of her own destiny as she knew Locke would phrase it, otherwise what was the point of her even being alive anymore? Tears began to well up in her eyes and she turned abruptly to prevent Jack from seeing her moment of weakness, suddenly the room began to spin… and would not stop! There was a buzzing sound inside her head, and for a moment she felt as though her heart was beating on the outside of her chest wall, the same pulse inside her head making her feel as though her skull was about to burst… then it stopped as suddenly as it has began and Kate tried to steady herself, stumbling loudly in the process.

"You OK?" she heard Jack's anxious voice ask her.

"Yeah," she replied, quickly wiping away her tears before turning back round to face him. She saw his face, eyes full of concern for her, and in that instant she knew that she had made the right decision. "I just tripped over something that's all. I can't see where I'm going in here." She offered Jack a false smile (which he returned), before forcing herself to look at Sawyer. The drugs had got to work quickly once inside his system, he was still obviously conscious, he's eyes were still slightly open, but now he reminded Kate more of a child who was too tired to keep their eyes open but really didn't want to go to sleep, either that or one of the incapacitated drunks that she used to see as she wondered the streets of Los Angeles every night on her way home from work… but that was a long forgotten memory now… that is, long forgotten until now.

"How is he?" she asked.

"It's not looking good," Jack told her.

"What do you mean?"

"I will know more once I've taken a look at him." Jack explained, obviously not prepared to commit himself to divulging the facts about Sawyer's condition until he was sure about what he was talking about. He went over to his rucksack and removed something sharp from the front zip pocket, Kate recognised it as a sewing needle, maybe even the one that she herself had been forced to use on Jack during their first day on the island, she couldn't tell, but she was aware of the fact that Jack had been sterilising and reusing a lot of their supplies, he'd had to… otherwise they would have run out weeks ago. Grasping one of the fingers on Sawyer's right hand Jack started to insert the needle into the tip of Sawyer's finger, obviously checking for a pain response. Sawyer's reaction was almost instantaneous as he tried to pull his finger away, and when that failed as Jack was still holding it in place he let out an involuntary whimper of pain, to which Jack finally released his grip on the finger and Sawyer's hand dropped back limply to his side.

"We're going to have to be gentle with him," Jack said turning to Kate "the drugs I have just given him are just enough to take the edge off his pain, he's still feeling more than I would have liked, the sedative stops him objecting to anything I may do though."

"How bad will he feel it?" Kate asked.

"Pretty bad." Jack told her "It's not going to be pleasant for him. He's going to need a lot of support…"

"And that's where I come in." Kate cut in.

"Well I can't be his doctor and his nurse at the same time." Jack pointed out, a pleading note in his voice as he took Kate's statement as an objection.

"What do you need me to do?" She asked with a slight sigh.

"Just stop him from moving around too much, he's likely to become very agitated once I start the procedure but you should be able to keep a control of him. If it gets too much for him just try and comfort him, it shouldn't be too difficult."

Kate nodded as she took her place next to Sawyer.

"Ready?" Jack asked her.

"Ready." She replied

"OK…I'm sorry Sawyer but this is going to hurt," Jack said turning to him as he lifted up his shirt and pressed down lightly on his stomach. Sawyer groaned and tried to turn over but Kate made sure that she placed herself firmly up against Sawyer preventing him from moving. Jack continued to massage Sawyer's stomach with his hands taking precautions not to press too hard until Sawyer gave up trying to move himself away from Jack and let out a whimper in protest. At this Jack gave a grave sigh and sat back, his arms resting loosely over his knees. "He's bleeding internally." Jack looked up finally.

"Is it bad?" Kate asked.

"It's not good," was Jack's response, "my guess is that the virus has weakened the lining of his abdomen, the coughing fit he had when you came to fetch me must have ruptured it."

"Is there nothing you can do?"

"Well that's the thing… it's not a particularly heavy bleed. Back home it would certainly be enough for me to recommend surgery but it would be farley simple to fix. There's no way I could even contemplate the procedure here though… I think it's best if we leave him for the moment, keep his sedated… there's really nothing more that we can do." He explained, before adding, "You look tired Kate, why don't you try to get some sleep?"

"I'm fine," she said defiantly.

"No Kate you're not, you're exhausted."

"How can I sleep knowing what I've done?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you see? All this is my fault! The argument was my fault!"

"Kate…" Jack said getting up and reaching out his arms to hold her, comfort her. "You cannot blame yourself for this. This virus is an unknown phenomenon to us all, nobody could have known that this was gonna happen. This is not your fault!… ummmm would you keep an eye on him for a moment," he asked as an afterthought, indicating to a sleeping Sawyer, "I'm just gonna pop out and get some water."

"Sure," she nodded. As he left the caves with two empty water bottles in hand he gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, she never noticed as he slipped something into his pocket.

………………………………………………………………

Jack stood by the waterfall, a small yellow pill bottle resting in his hands as he looked down at it questioningly. There were so few pills left, which didn't make his decision any easier… then with an air of conviction and determination he removed the lid of the pill bottle, tipping it up, and, taking one of the already filled water bottles dropped a single pill inside before replacing the lid and slipping the pill bottle back into his pocket. Twirling the water bottle around in mid air for a second until he was sure that the tablet had completely dissolved, he made his way back into the caves.

"How is he?" he asked Kate.

"No change," she told him.

"Here, I brought you some water." He said, offering her the laced bottle.

"Thanks." She responded gratefully, reaching out to accept it from him before taking a few large thirsty sips from it's contents. Jack smiled, going over to check on Sawyer but still he kept glancing back at Kate. After a few moments he attempted to resume the conversation.

"It's going to be a long night," he told her. He frowned as she suddenly put her hand to her head and stumbled. "I really think you should sit down Kate."

"What's going on?" she asked as she suddenly came over very faint. Jack started manoeuvring her over to another corner of the cave, and she felt herself been gently lowered to the floor.

"It's OK." He reassured her, his face swam in and out of her line of vision as sleep and unconsciousness finally began to creep up on her. "I'm sorry." He said. But any further words failed her as she fell into a deep and restful sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

**FLASHBACK**

**KATE'S POV**

He was dead, gunned down and now he was dead, those bullets had been intended for her… but there was nothing she could do now, the police would deal with his body, the body of the man they had murdered, the body of the man that she loved – Tom. She wanted to stop running, she couldn't hear the sound of the sirens any longer, heavy booted feet chasing after her, they had given up on the pursuit minutes since, maybe half an hour, and she was no longer running to escape them, but to get as far away from him as possible, the body of the man that _she_ had killed.

Maybe he wasn't dead, but now lying in a hospital bed clinging to life, waiting for her to return to him in his emptiness, trying to find his way back to reality… and suddenly she wanted to turn back, go running back the way she had come, right into the open arms of the law… but he was dead, she had seen the blood, too much blood for him to have survived such an injury, she had held his limp body, called to him without response, and that was when she knew that he would wait for her no longer. If she turned back now it would all be for nothing… so she kept on running.

Tears of grief flooded her eyes and spilled out over onto her cheeks. Their salty sting was blinding her but she had suddenly become numb to all emotion other than her grief, which was now tearing her open inside and making her feel sick. Her feet were raw from the blows they had taken as they impacted with the hard ground, her shoes rubbing away painfully at the layers of skin as though they were nothing more than tissue paper, although there was something comforting about her ability to feel physical pain. It reminded her that she was still alive… still human. "Tom," she whispered to herself against the upheavals of her chest. She was really crying now, she could hear her own pathetic wailing above the busy city traffic, so many people's lives had been messed up because of her – her stepfather's, her mother's, Tom's… his families, their lives altered forever because of what she had done. She wanted to tear her guts out with her bare hands, so many times since that evening had she longed for the sight of blood, her own blood to replace that which she had spilt… she wanted no more of it. How could she even live with this guilt for the rest of her life? She was just now beginning to understand the mistake that she had made the evening that she had killed her stepfather, now that she had lost all that had ever meant anything to her… and that's when she realised that she had stopped running.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

**Hey guys, well as you can tell Chapter 12 is now up. Thank You for being so patient, I am still in the middle of my studies at the moment and have about 5 other stories I am currently working on but hopefully I won't be as behind in updating in the future as I have in the past few weeks. I hope you enjoy what I have written and I know I say this every time but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW.**

As Kate came round the next morning she could hear Sawyer's cries long before she opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was how stiff she felt – as though her spine had set to the shape of the cave wall which she now found herself propped up against, a blanket cloaking her near icy body. Then as she opened her eyes and her vision started to clear she noticed the first signs of daylight manifest themselves as the subtle rays of light, tinged with gold, that were beaming through the mouth of the cave. Then her attentions were drawn to Sawyer, writhing and crying out in pain not too far away from her. She didn't notice anything out of place at first, apart from the intense pain he appeared to be in, her mind still felt very much detached from her body. But as she gradually began to take in her surroundings she noticed that his body was completely bare, his t-shirt had been completely removed, and a large bloody scar was visible across his bare stomach.

In a state of sudden panic Kate stumbled to her feet, nearly toppling over in her haste as she did so, her co-ordination still pretty much non-existent.

"Sawyer?" she asked, her voice shaking with suppressed emotion and fear.

"I had to do it." she heard an exhausted voice from behind her speak and turned to see Jack sitting in a corner of the cave, his hands covered in blood, his face red and blotchy from where it was obvious he had been crying. Fresh tears in his eyes spilled out onto his pale cheeks but he made no attempt to wipe them away.

"What did you do to him?" Kate demanded, her own eyes filling now.

"The bleeding wasn't stopping Kate." Jack explained "I had to do it or he would have bled to death before the night was out."

"Do what?"

"I had to operate on him Kate… it was the only way." Kate looked shocked, all anger evaporating from her frightened soul as Jack's chest began to heave as he let himself go in front of her and cried bitter tears of despair.

Kate looked at Sawyer for a moment, still writhing in pain in front of her, but tore her gaze away from him almost immediately. A conflicting combination of pitty and disgust filled her heart, nearly drowning her, as she remembered Sawyer's painful words to her the previous evening and the love that they had once shared for each other, a love that for Sawyer still remained. But so much had changed for Kate over the past few months of being on the island, and it was only now that she received the final conformation that she no longer felt that way about Sawyer anymore, when she could look upon the body of the man her soul had once burned with an aching passion for as nothing more than a friend.

"I've given him something for the pain." Jack spoke up amongst the upheavals of his chest… and it was then that Kate made her decision…

"Hey," she spoke soothingly as she crawled over to him, wrapping her bony arms around his solid body in an intimate and affectionate embrace, "you did your best… you always do your best…" before adding "I should have been there for you last night."

"Kate…" Jack said, about to point out that it wasn't her fault, it had been his decision to sedate her, he had thought that he was doing the right thing, before deciding against it and saying the only thing that really seemed to matter to him now, "I _really_ needed you last night."

Kate smiled, "I know you did." Before reluctantly continuing, "This is all my fault."

"What? Don't be silly Kate."

"Last night he told me you would leave me, that this would never last… he told me… he told me that you would come to resent me because… because of what I am."

"And what are you?" Jack asked questioningly.

"A murderer." Kate muttered with self-loathing "I'll never be worth anything to anyone."

"Hey you're worth something to me." Jack said lifting her chin gently and forcing her to look at him, "I love you."

Kate looked at him dubiously.

"Kate I will always love you… and I will never leave you."

"Yeah, that's what he said you would say." She muttered.

"It's the truth Kate." Jack urged, "I don't know how I could have survived stranded on this island without you. If I could I would marry you tomorrow with no second thoughts… no regrets… if no one else ever again, can you not learn to trust me, believe in what I say here and now?"

Kate looked at him, it was her turn to cry now "I know…" she muttered.

"Know what?"

"I know you love me… because I feel the same… but what about if we ever get rescued, if they lock me up for what I have done, would you still love me enough to wait for me then… even though I may never be free?"

"For better or worse." Jack smiled, Kate responded with a slight laugh.

"I was just so angry with him last night." She explained, "I almost wanted something like this to happen to him… just so he could feel the pain that he was making me feel… but then when it did… and now… all I felt was fear."

"He should be OK." Jack reassured her, "He came through the surgery reasonably well which was the toughest part, he's strong and if he's able to evade any infection he should be up and around again in the next few weeks. I've already started him on anti-biotics though just to be on the safe side… there's not much more I can do for him I'm afraid."

"Come on." Kate spoke as she got to her feet, noticing that her presence was appearing to be having a desirable affect on Jack, lifting his spirits somewhat back to his normal self.

"Where are we going?" Jack asked as Kate helped him to his feet and he took a few steps towards Sawyer to check on his wound "That's gonna need dressing later," he noted as a personal note to himself before coaxing his patient "Shhhhhh, Sawyer you need to rest now. I will be back to check on you later."

Kate waited to make sure that Jack was satisfied that Sawyer was going to be alright for a while before guiding him out of the cave. Both flinched at the bright sunlight of the approaching day as they met with the open air outside.

"You still haven't answered my question." Jack pointed out smiling for the first time in hours.

"You need to get yourself cleaned up first." Kate looked at him, "You're a mess." Jack looked down at his blood soaked hands and grimy body, his face still streaked with sweat and dry tears and immediately made a beeline for the waterfall. As he began to wash away much of the dirt from his hands and face Kate crept up behind him and as he turned to see her looking longingly up at him their lips locked in a long and passionate kiss.

"What's this for?" Jack tried to ask, grinning as Kate continued to suck on his lower lip.

"For being amazing." She muttered as she pulled away for a brief moment "Where are you keeping Locke then?" she asked.

"The cave next to Sawyer." Jack pointed out. "That one there," he indicated a cave to the right of the one they have just vacated.

At this Kate turned to the third cave, the one reserved for the storage of the supplies and with an unexpected strength and eagerness dragged Jack deep into the mouth of the cave. Their lips locked again immediately. Jack took a tight hold of her around her waist holding her closer to him whist he kissed her neck lightly as she held onto him tightly. Not a word was uttered between them, at that moment there was no need, both knew how they made each other feel and knew that the other felt the same, even if the moment felt somewhat awkward to know that Sawyer was only a stone wall away from them, but they couldn't help themselves, their desire was too strong. Before they knew it they were on the floor, both locked together in their embrace, their arms and legs entangled making them for a moment one and the same, not daring to take the moment any further in fear of it coming to an end too soon… and then the moment was gone…

"Jack! JACK!" Suddenly Artz burst in on them.

"Artz!" Jack was furious as he ripped himself away from Kate on impulse. A look of shock froze on Kate's face as she scrambled to her feet.

"Oh…. Erm…. I'm sorry Jack." Artz spoke uncomfortably as he turned his gaze away. "Hurley told me you were in here… I swear I didn't know…Look erm…"

"Just get on with it Artz!" Jack snapped as Artz stood there stammering, struggling to get his words out in his embarrassed state.

"It's Dexter…" Artz strained to speak, "He collapsed last night."

"Oh god!" Jack moaned, his anxiety creeping into his voice making him soften slightly.

"I didn't dare come to you earlier." Artz tried to explain.

"Why not?" Jack asked, frustration creeping into his tone now.

"The jungle is a dangerous place at the best of times… but at night…" Artz urged, "would you honestly expect me to risk coming all the way from the beach to the caves on my own in the middle of the night?"

"So you would risk a young guy's life for your own selfishness?" Jack accused.

"It'll just be dehydration…" Artz tried to rationalise his cowardice "he was never in any real danger."

"That's where you're wrong!" Jack glared, disgust pouring into every corner of his expression. "A man nearly died last night, you're fully aware of this virus going through the camp, nobody is safe anymore, nobody! Every man, every woman, we have a baby to take care of now, and you're prepared to risk everybody's lives, the life of someone barely more than a kid!"

Artz opened his mouth as though he was about to respond but Jack was no longer interested in anything he had to say. "I have to go to him." He said turning to Kate.

"I'll come with you." She offered.

"No, I need someone here to keep an eye on Sawyer, you stay and get some rest." He forced himself to speak affectionately to her, then hastily gathering up some supplies he stormed from the caves.

Not another word was exchanged between Artz and Jack until they were part way down the path to the beach. Jack was still seething when he finally spoke.

"Artz never do that to me again, do you hear me?" before adding "Has he been getting enough to drink?" referring back to Dexter when Artz didn't respond.

Resentfully Artz replied "I've had to sit up with him all night, he's been downing bottle after bottle but he can't seem to keep anything down."

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" Jack frowned muttering to himself. Confused and frustrated he could only blame himself for not attempting to contain the virus sooner.

""I'm sorry Jack, I've done all that I can for him."

"Where is he now?"

"Laying down."

"He's not in the sun is he?" Jack asked concerned.

"Not directly," Artz explained "I tried to help him into a closer proximity to the jungle but he collapsed part way there so Jin helped me fix a tarp over him to keep him as cool as we can."

"Jin? How did you manage that one?"

"I know some Korean." He revealed matter of factly, if not a little hesitantly, obviously fearful of Jack's reaction.

"Really? Why did you never tell us this before?" Jack was shocked, and news of the older mans additional secretiveness only added to his increasing emotions of annoyance and distrust.

"I'd rather not go into that at the moment." Artz recoiled as if suddenly overwhelmed by a long repressed memory, leaving him momentarily grief stricken. "I don't know enough for it to have been of any significance anyway."

And with that Artz seemed to suddenly turn in on himself, shutting himself off to the outside world, guided by only his most primitive instincts to get him back to the beach safely. Jack could by the look on his face that he wasn't going to get anymore out of his reluctant companion, and anyway he was no psychologist, and so it was that the two men continued their journey in silence…


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

**OK well sorry that I have taken so long in updating this. Hopefully the next chapter should follow quite soon. In the man time I hope you enjoy what you read and please please PLEASE REVIEW! I love to read them and find out what you all think and they really do help me improve my writing!**

As Jack and Artz came to a clearing in the jungle and stepped out onto the beach they were immediately spotted by a frantic Jin who came running hastily over to them, gesturing dramatically and speaking incoherently in Korean. Jack stood in confused silence for a moment struggling to get his head around the language barrier between himself and the man now standing before him, before quickly taking control of the situation.

"Wo hey Jin calm down, I can't understand you." He spoke slowly, raising his hands above his shoulders in obvious protest in a bid to stem the flow of indistinguishable words as they escaped from Jin's mouth. His recent frustration at Artz only increased as he noticed the older man out of the corner of his eye standing rigid as he stared dumbly at the two men, totally at a loss at how to handle the situation. Suddenly Jin put his hands to his throat and started to imitate a vague retching motion as he pointed to a spot a little further up the beach, and as Jack turned to look in the direction Jin was pointing he suddenly understood as he detected the tell tale hint of blue indicating the tarpaulin not too far away from where they now stood.

"What kind of a state was Dexter in when you left him?" Jack asked turning to Artz as they both began to brusquely follow Jin back up the beach, obviously concerned by Jin's apparent state of panic and distress and the growing realisation of what they were now facing as it became increasingly apparent with each new case of what this new virus was capable of.

"Pretty out of it I think." Artz spoke gravely. "He appeared to be in quite a lot of pain. I couldn't get much sense out of him."

"That'll be the dehydration." Jack explained before adding, "Did you notice anything else about his condition?"

"Like what?"

"Any blood in his vomit? Anything that looked remotely alarming about his physical appearance?"

"No… no I don't think so." Artz stammered with the effort as he tried to recall anything but without success.

"Well at least that's something." Suddenly the crunch of sand below approaching footsteps could be heard as they neared the makeshift tent and Jack turned abruptly to see Charlie as he emerged from within and began to make his way stiffly towards them.

"Charlie what are you doing here?" Jack frowned.

"I thought I could be of some help." He croaked, and Jack was troubled to hear that his voice was distinctly weaker than it had been when he had seen him last, his face pale and covered in a film of sweat, he stumbled slightly and Jack ran to steady him. "I'm OK." Charlie insisted as he pushed Jack away.

"Charlie your immune system has been shattered." He insisted as he looked him over uneasily, "You're still vulnerable to infection, you can't risk anymore than you've already been through."

"I just figured I understand what he's going through." Charlie looked at Jack desperately, "I've been nothing but useless to everyone I've known nearly all my adult life… I just hate feeling so helpless."

"You need rest Charlie, I'm here now." Jack reassured him, "Claire and the baby will be waiting for you, go to them. I'll come and check on you later." He patted the young man gently on the shoulder as Charlie offered a brief smile before they watched him as he walked unsteadily away. Jack was tempted to go to him a couple of further times as he noticed him continue to stumble but resisted the temptation as he recognised that it would not be appreciated and instead turned to the potential patient he had initially come here to see, entering the tent, if not a little apprehensively.

Dexter lay curled up, shivering as he pulled an old blanket tightly around himself for comfort and warmth. He held his legs pressed tight to his stomach in a semi-foetal position in an attempt to deaden the pain. As Jack approached him cautiously, he flinched at the sound of the older mans voice and withdrew further into himself giving him a brief fearful glance out of the corner of his eye.

"Dexter?" Jack asked, his voice sympathetic. Although he himself had so far thankfully not contracted any symptoms of the virus whilst treating those afflicted, he had witnessed the devastating effect that it has had on Locke, Sawyer and Charlie and could well understand the young mans fear as he knelt down beside him.

"Go away." Dexter whispered quite uncharacteristically. Although Jack had not taken much time to get to know the youth over the past few weeks since the crash he and had found him to be highly polite and sensitive, if not a little quiet during the few brief snippets of conversation that they had shared.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Dexter," he spoke softly, "not this time," remembering that the first couple of occasions the boy had been brought to him had been nothing too serious. "I need to take a closer look at you." He explained.

Dexter did not respond to this, either with fear or anger, in fact he completely failed to react to this new revelation, and as Jack suddenly noticed that his eyes had started to close he was initially concerned that Dexter had given into a long encroaching unconsciousness. However to his relief as he placed his palm to the young mans forehead, immediately feeling the hot burning of his dangerously high fever he pulled away revealing that he was at least partially aware of his surroundings.

"My mouth feels dry." Dexter finally rasped, licking his dry lips as he did so. At this Jack gently reached over to pinch a small area of the paper like skin on Dexter's pale arm and watched as it slowly sank back into place, a solid indication of dehydration.

"I need to see you drink something." Jack spoke at last, his expression full of urgency. "Artz tells me you've been unable to keep anything down all night, do you think you could manage a couple of mouthfuls for me?"

To Jack's relief after a moment of consideration Dexter slowly nodded in agreement, "I have nothing to lose," he whispered as he watched Jack remove a full, fresh bottle from his rucksack and begin to unscrew the lid. As he allowed himself to be helped into a sitting position Dexter's immediate reaction was to take long, hard gulps of cold water as Jack held the bottle steadily to his lips, regretting his haste almost immediately as the cool liquid caused a sudden sharp stab of searing pain to erupt in the pit of his stomach, and as he doubled over with it's intensity he once again found himself choking as he vomited uncontrollably.

Jack immediately jumped out of the way as the young man struggled to get to his feet, only to find that the sudden movement caused another surge of pain to course through his system. "I'm sorry." He spoke at last.

"Just lay flat for a while." Jack said as he lowered Dexter's slim body back to the ground, taking his legs and laying them straight on the dry sand for the first time since he had entered the tent. Dexter lay breathing heavily for a moment, his chest and diaphragm wracked with minor cramps from the exertion of his movement. Jack sat on the sidelines, watching his young charge closely as he allowed him to rest for a while before he appeared to fall asleep, finally bending quietly over him as he lifted his shirt to the point of his ribs.

"What are you doing?" Jack jumped slightly as Dexter suddenly turned to him, catching him off guard.

"I'm just taking a closer look at you, just try and lie still for a moment, this will probably hurt but just try to remain calm." He explained.

Dexter flinched and groaned as Jack applied weak pressure to his abdomen testing his response to pain, he clenched his hands into tight fists in an attempt to prevent himself from pulling away from Jack but as he increased the pressure on the younger mans stomach he cried out unable to take it any longer.

"No more," Dexter pleaded, tears in his eyes.

At this Jack ceased to continue to put his young patient through the obvious agony of examination and without word simply replaced Dexter's t-shirt offering him a sympathetic smile to which Dexter forced a response in return.

"I wish you would have let me check you over last night." Jack sighed at last, his voice grave. "You definitely have this virus Dexter… there's no doubt about that. The problem is with fluids you should start feeling better pretty quickly but your stomach is still pretty inflamed, you won't be able to even contemplate taking anything by mouth for quite a while I'm afraid."

"It all just crept up on me so quickly," Dexter explained. "I felt fine yesterday… I thought I was just dehydrated."

"We're going to have to find an alternative way to get fluids into you." Jack took a moment to think before an idea appeared to come to him and without hesitation he rose from his current position. "I'll be back soon." He muttered before he left the tent.

Outside Jack squinted against the orange glare of the sun, surveying the beach for any obvious signs of Jin but without luck.

"Hey Sayid." He called, noticing the other man a little further up the shore. "Have you seen Sun or Jin?" He continued once he had successfully attracted Sayid's attention.

"Yeah I think I saw him fishing." Sayid indicated in a vague direction somewhere to the left of Jack with an outstretched arm, shouting to make himself heard as he still stood some distance away.

"Thanks." At this Jack set off in haste in the general direction Sayid had given him, his cause was urgent, although as he spotted the young couple as he drew closer to the waters edge he smiled to see Sun with her arms wrapped around her husband, laughing as she watched him try and negotiate the large make-shift fishing net whilst kissing her affectionately at the same time. Their relationship had been rocky lately and the time they spent together was still unpredictable, although watching them both now it was clear that they still loved each other very much. At one point they both stumbled, soaking themselves as they nearly ended up in the water and stifling a small laugh Jack finally made his appearance known in the couple, remembering the true nature of the business that had brought him here.

"Hey Sun."

"Jack?" She turned to him suddenly, eyes wide with surprise, although a small smile was still visible on her face.

"Can I speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure." She spoke bewilderedly as she began to make her way slowly over to him, "What about?"

"Do you remember when I gave Boone his blood transfusion?" he asked, "I need another needle."

"Yes… I kept the sea urchin." She explained.

"Good… in that case I'm going to need you to do me a favour."

At this Jack explained Dexter's condition and his plan to Sun, who listened intently as he explained to her all that he needed her to do.

"If you need to, get Jin to help you." He told her at last, "I will be back at the beach when you are ready. I'm sorry I can't come up to the caves with you but I can't risk leaving Dexter for too long at the moment."

"It's OK, I know what I'm doing." Sun smiled as she prepared to depart, making a mental note of everything Jack had asked her to collect, as well as all that he had asked her to do. Then as he watched as Sun and Jin disappeared, sheltered by the dense growth of trees as they made their way up the path through the jungle towards the caves, Jack turned back the way he had just come.

Back at the tent Dexter was relieved when he saw that Jack had returned, the young man looked exhausted and although Jack had only been gone a matter of minutes to the sick youth it had felt as though he had been alone for hours. He wasn't up to talking much but the company appeared to have a calming affect on him and as a further hour passed the two sat in silence, Jack occasionally popping his head out with each new sound of approaching footsteps to observe the unusually quiet stretch of beach, but the afternoon passed distinctly uneventfully and after a while Dexter sank into a restless and troubled sleep.

Jack himself had just started to settle during a very rare moment of relaxation which had only occurred on a couple of other occasions since the crash, his eyes closing heavily as his tired body was warmed by the heat of the sun's rays, when the fluent sound of Korean met with his ears and he jumped up, waking Dexter abruptly as he did so, as Sun and Jin began to make their way up the beach towards them.

As Jack approached the couple he noticed that Jin was carrying the cooler that he recognised Sun had brought to him on the evening of Boone's blood transfusion and further inspection revealed that Sun was also weighed down by the heavy load of a rucksack filled with medical supplies and water.

Jack smiled in greeting as he gratefully accepted the cooler from Jin, who smiled in return as Jack turned to Sun.

"Thanks." He spoke.

"Do you need anymore help?" Sun asked as she assisted Jack in hooking the heavy rucksack over his muscular shoulder.

"No I'm fine." Jack said offering her a final half-hearted smile as he tuned his back on her, time now of the essence. He hadn't yet explained his plan to Dexter, who he was sure was not going to be too accepting of what he was about to do, knowing that too many people present would only aggravate the young man's anxiety.

When he re-entered the tent Dexter was yet again fully awake and struggling to sit up. Jack knelt down beside him immediately, restraining him gently.

"I'm going to need you to lie still for me now Dexter." He explained as he raided the supplies Sun had brought with her for gauze and anti-septic, tipping a small amount of the clear liquid out onto a fresh strip of cloth to clear an area of Dexter's arm where a vein lay, clearly exposed and visible to the naked eye.

"Why?" Dexter asked, slightly shocked.

"We need to try and find a way of getting fluids into you pretty quickly," Jack continued, barely registering the anxiety on Dexter's face as he watched him remove a small black needle from the nearby cooler and a length of fine plastic tubing that Sun had brought with her in the rucksack, "I'm going to try and make a drip using one of the water bottles…"

"No!" Dexter suddenly cut him off, Jack turned to see genuine fear register on the young man's face now.

"It's the only way."

"Ever since I was a kid I've been terrified of needles. Growing up that was all I was ever really frightened of, nothing else, but it was enough. I said no."

"That's assuming that you have a say in this." Jack spoke, taking his eyes off Dexter as he struggled to make a hole in the end of one of the many water bottle Sun had supplied him with, "The decision has already been made!"

"What, by you?"

"No, your own body has made the decision for you. You can't keep anything down but if I don't get fluids into you soon you could die… of course I can't force you into anything." Jack paused to look at the young man who suddenly appeared frozen in time, silent and unmoving, his own fear driving him into a mock state of catatonia as the sudden realisation of the severity of his condition hit him with a heavy force.

"Could I really die?" He asked at last.

"Yes…" Jack responded after a brief pause, "But you won't, I'm not going to let that happen… that's why you have to let me do this procedure."

At this both men looked hard into each others eyes, and in that moment Jack saw Dexter's facial expression change from the soft, vulnerable complexion of a mere boy and harden into that of a man, with the knowledge that the right thing to do was not always the easiest. "Just make it quick." He spoke, his voice shaking slightly, although his tone determined, and as he felt the sharp sting of the needle as Jack gently slid it into the vein he winced and turned away.

"You'll be fine." Jack tried to reassure him. "It'll be over before you know it."

**OK well that's Chapter 13 up. I hope you liked it but I appologise if you don't think it's up to my usual standard... I'm not the best judge of how people will take my work. But I've found this particularly hard to write as Dexter is not a particularly developed character and will only be known to those of you who have read the series of novels that accompany the series (therefore as with all other characters featured in this fic he's not mine!), therefore having him as a main character in this chapter proved incredibly tricky! Thanks for being so patient.**


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

**OK well here it is! Chapter 14 is up! I hope you enjoy it. I was hopeing it would be complete a little sonner but I have a lot of stories to update and I try to split my time equally between all my readers! Please please please with a cherry on top REVIEW this chapter guys! I've noticed that reviews for this story have been becoming less and less lately and it's hard for me to know whether people are still likeing what they read of my work or not, although from the few reviews I have recieved oppinions seem possitive which is always good. Anyway I will let you guys get on and read the chapter... enjoy!**

That evening it was still light when Jack returned to the caves. His lack of sleep the night before and the frantic, urgent activity of the past few hours had taken its toll on his tired body, but he was pleased to see Kate waiting for him as he came up the path from the beach, smiling warmly as she soaked her dark hair with the fresh water from the waterfall, recoiling slightly with the shock of its unexpected chill.

"Hey." She grinned affectionately as he approached her.

"You'll give yourself a fever if you carry on like that." Jack observed, eyeing critically the half full bottle of crystal water which she was now holding.

"I'm such a mess." Kate pointed out as Jack smiled lovingly back at her, removing the bottle firmly from her loose grip as he held her, drawing her closer to him as he tipped its remaining contents away, causing the pool of water to splash and ripple violently at his feet.

"You look great." He reassured her as their lips locked in a brief moment of passion before they pulled away, clinging to each other tightly in a long lasting and meaningful embrace.

"How's Dexter?" Kate asked at last, hunting around for something distinctly casual to say in a bid to encroach on the ever-dawning uncomfortable silence that seemed to exist between the two of them this evening.

"He's doing well." Jack told her with a brief nod of his head, indicating that he was positive with his progress. "He won't be up and around for a while yet, but the drip worked so with fluids we should begin to notice an improvement in his condition within a day or so."

"That's good." Kate smiled absent mindedly as she felt the heat of Jack's warm torso against her damp face and snuggled her head in closer to his body, rejoicing in the moment of uninterrupted contact between the two. They continued to sit in silence for a while until Jack noticed that Kate appeared to be falling asleep and he delicately stroked her soft cheek as he tried to wake her gently.

"You look exhausted." He commented as she opened her eyes, "Go and get some rest Kate. I need to check on Sawyer and Locke anyway. Sawyer's wounds will need dressing by now." Jack knew full well why Kate still appeared so tired and was immediately consumed with guilt with the knowledge that the drugs he had given her the night before had still fully not worked their way out of her system.

"Are you sure?" she asked him drowsily as she looked up at him with lazy eyes, "You don't need any help with anything?"

"Kate I'm sure I can handle things." Jack smiled down at her as he helped her up. Offering her his somewhat broader male hand, although forgetting the slender woman's strength as she accepted it almost pulling him over as he heaved her into a standing position.

"What about Sawyer?" She asked as a final thought as she started to stagger unsteadily on her feet, watching with a slight smile as Jack struggled to steady himself, trying desperately not to topple over on top of Kate.

"Sorry." She spoke.

"I don't think he's in any state to give me much trouble." Jack explained, inadvertently reassuring Kate with a forced grin as he kissed her passionately on the lips. Then watching her walk groggily away he swiftly turning his attentions to his two patients, Locke and Sawyer, forcing himself not to think about the traumatic events of the night before… having to believe that what he had done had been the right thing to do.

…

Jack was relieved to find that Sawyer was asleep when he entered the dark confines of the caves a few moments later. He stood in the shadows and watched him for a moment as he flinched involuntarily with every breath, the upheavals of his chest pulling painfully on his stitches. Then with a final sigh of apprehension Jack approached Sawyer's exhausted form, gently shaking him awake.

"Not you again doc!" Sawyer grunted as he finally opened his eyes, initially slow to respond to Jack's encouragements, "Why don't you just leave me alone?"

"How are you feeling?" Jack asked.

"What do you care?"

"Not this again Sawyer…" Jack spoke despairingly. "I need to dress your wounds."

At this Sawyer did not respond, he watched Jack as he emptied his rucksack of water, gauze, anti-septic and bandages, his face painted with a disconcerted look. Finally Jack turned back to face him and his expression changed in a moment into one of hatred and vague, disguised fear.

Sawyer did not get up, he remained lying down too weak to do anything about manoeuvring himself into a sitting position, not wanting to give Jack an excuse to stay any longer than was absolutely necessary.

"This might sting a little." Jack warned as he began to clean the wound. Sawyer grimaced, yet remained silent as Jack worked at applying gauze and layers of bandage administering only weak pressure to Sawyer's abdomen… but it was only a matter of time before his anger and frustration got the better of him.

"I don't know why you're bothering to put things right now doc." He spoke at last, a resentful tone to his voice. "You're the one who did this to me… I guess you figure that by patching me up and sticking me back together with bits of tape now will win you extra points with your new girlfriend." At this Jack stopped what he was doing and glanced up at Sawyer, a bemused look clouding his expression. "Yeah that's right." Sawyer continued, thriving on the fact that he now had Jack's full and undivided attention, "Girls always dig the hero."

"I'm sorry?"

"Let me make this a little clearer for you to understand doc." Sawyer spat out with a venom which seemed to indicate an inner pain far exceeding anything he would ever allow anybody to fully recognise. "You… did… this… to… me!"

"Sawyer there was no choice, you were bleeding internally, you would have bled to death before the night was out had I not opened you up." Jack explained as he turned back to the task in hand and attending to his reluctant patient's wounds.

"Of course there was a choice!" Sawyer suddenly snapped, "You could have let me die!"

"I wasn't about to let that happen."

"Oh no?"

"No!"

At this Sawyer appeared to soften slightly, his anger depleting as grief and self-pity took over. "I wanted to die." He said at last.

"You don't mean that." Jack shook his head distractedly. Although he had taken in everything Sawyer had said so far, he was still unsure of how to handle this new additional vulnerability to the mans personality.

"Oh don't I?" Sawyer asked mockingly, his familiar southern drawl creeping into his self-assured tone, disguising at least some of the pain he had been fighting to contain since Jack had first awoken him from his disturbed sleep. "She made her decision Jack, she chose you… what more is there left for me to live for?"

And at last Jack understood. Sawyer turned away from Jack just as he added the final layers of bandage, indicating that he did not want to discuss the subject any further. But Jack knew that he still had to get Sawyer to take the painkillers and an assortment of anti-biotics that he had brought with him in order to prevent any potential infection, which Jack knew was a grave possibility in the non-sterile and hostile world they were now struggling to survive in.

"Sawyer I need you to take these." He said as he removed a combination of pill bottles from his rucksack and tipped out a selection of six pills into the palm of his hand, offering them to Sawyer.

"Bloody hell doc you trying to overdose me or something? You'll have me rattling if you make me take all those." Sawyer scoffed as he turned to view the assortment of drugs Jack was offering him.

"I need to see you take these Sawyer." Jack enforced urgently. Sawyer gave him a grudging look as he swiftly swallowed down three of the pills.

"And the rest." Jack said as he indicated the remaining medication left on his hand.

"Come on doc…" Sawyer smirked but Jack was prepared for the other mans attempts at resistance now and wasn't having any of it.

"And the rest!"

Sawyer offered Jack one last contemptuous glare before finally accepting the remaining pills. "Happy now?" he asked.

"Thank You." Jack said, hating himself almost immediately as he noticed his voice failed to disguise the relief he was now feeling that getting Sawyer to take his medication had not been half as tricky as he had initially thought it would be. But it was not in Sawyer's nature to give Jack the satisfaction of letting him have the final word as he watched the doctor stuff the medical supplies back into his already overflowing rucksack and prepare to depart from the caves.

"I didn't do it for you." He piped up at last, "From now on I only look out for myself!"

Jack didn't turn round to look at Sawyer, he carried on walking, failing to notice that Sawyer had already turned his back on him again now anyway, forcing back the tears of self loathing and pitiful sadness that threatened to fall… Jack could only hope that Locke was faring better.

…

As Jack entered the caves adjacent to Sawyer's to check on Locke a split second later he was startled to see John up and pacing restlessly. Although relieved that the patient he had initially been most concerned about was now obviously well on the road to recovery he was still alarmed to notice just how pale Locke still looked, even in the dull light of the caves. At that moment Locke glanced up at him and smiled, registering his awareness that Jack had entered, but to Jack's trained eyes there seemed to be something different about John tonight, something disguised, as though there was something he was trying to hide.

"Hey John." Jack spoke gently, sensing that there was something not quite right about the older man this evening. "How do you feel?"

"Better." Locke nodded, "Thank You."

"Mind if I take a look at you?"

Locke shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head as an indication that he did not object.

"Just lay down here a sec." Jack said indicating an area of the cave floor that was free of loose boulders and rocks, before helping Locke into a lying position, grabbing a small blanket from the bed that he had hastily made up for him the evening he had first brought him back to the caves, rolling it up into a tight ball before placing it under Locke's head to try and make him more comfortable. "There."

Locke simply smiled as he lay back, lifting up his t-shirt to just above his abdomen… Jack guessed that he was well used to the whole process of examination by now, despite the fact that he had left him very much to himself over the past couple of days.

As Jack applied pressure to Locke's stomach he immediately felt his abdominal muscles tense below his fingers almost as though a sudden shot of pain had passed through the other man's body but as he looked up there was no pain registered on Locke face.

"Does that hurt?" Jack asked.

"No… just feels a little uncomfortable." Locke strained.

Jack gave him a wavering look before offering a vague nod of acceptance in Locke's direction and replacing his t-shirt before turning to his leg.

He removed the dressings carefully in an attempt not to irritate any inflamed or sensitive areas that sill may exist around the wound. Locke winced as Jack tugged gently at the final layer of gauze, which had become stuck to the flesh in a sticky mess of blood and discharge, but to his relief as it was finally pulled away and Jack began to clean the wound with water, rubbing it down gingerly with a strip of clean cloth, the healthy pink tinge of the flesh below was revealed.

"Well it looks like we can finally remove your stitches." Jack smiled, "It shouldn't take very long." He continued as he removed a small pair of sewing scissors from his rucksack and began to carefully cut away at the thread. Locke took a sharp intake of breath with the sudden shock as the stitches were gently pulled from the wound but the process didn't seem to cause him too much discomfort. "I'm going to bandage your leg again just for tonight." Jack explained at last as he started binding the laceration. "I'm afraid the puncture was pretty deep so your leg will be pretty sore for a while still." Before adding as though in after thought "Do you fancy a walk?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Locke smiled.

…

Later on it was dark by the time Jack set off to find Kate, eventually discovering her where she had been sleeping in his quarters, slightly groggy but much more herself than she had been a few hours earlier, much to the appeasement of Jack's conscience.

"Hi." She smiled as he entered, "How are Locke and Sawyer faring?"

Jack tried to force a smile in response to her, but the events of the past few hours had left him feeling drained and frustrated.

"Jack?" She asked again, concern growing in her voice at his failure to respond as she noticed the despondent look on his face.

"Sawyer will be fine." He spoke at last.

"And Locke?"

"Locke's gone!"

"What? Where? I don't understand." She said, getting to her feet hastily in her apparent alarm.

"There's nothing more I can do for him." Jack explained patiently, looking up at her, his eyes wide with her shocked response. "To all intents and purposes he's better… I let him go."

"Well then that's good isn't it?" She asked, a relived smile spreading across her face.

"I don't know." Jack replied. "I just can't shake the feeling that there's still something not quite right with him. I get the feeling that he's hiding something, but as of yet I have been unable to get him to open up to me about what it is."

"Maybe he just needs some space." Kate spoke.

"Maybe…"

"You don't sound so convinced."

At this Jack turned to her and smiled, to his surprise, a genuine smile. "Thanks Kate."

"For what?" She beamed back, slightly confused by Jack's apparent sudden change of heart. But he couldn't respond as he kissed her sensually on the lips.

"For being amazing." He uttered as he pulled away, before adding, "Where did we leave off this morning?" a knowing grin spreading across his face.

"Well…" Kate smiled as she jumped on him playfully, both laughing hard as they found themselves on top of each other, caressing each other's bodies with every available limb.

"Tonight there will be no more interruptions." He hugged her, holding her to him in an affectionate embrace. Kate never noticed as the smile faded from his face the instant he knew her back was turned, to be replaced with an expression of deep concern and bewilderment.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Hey guys and gals... not much to report at the mo as it hasn't been long since my last update lol but please please please read and REVIEW!**

As Jack awoke the next morning he opened his eyes groggily to find himself tightly wrapped around Kate, who was still sleeping peacefully. He smiled longingly as memories of the night before came flooding back to him. It had started out a fools love for Jack to have let his mind continuously wander back to a torn woman, but now there was no doubt in his mind that Kate had made her decision and he lay there a moment longer, not wanting to pull away just yet from the warm body of the woman he loved. He stroked her soft skin affectionately, smiling as she stirred, and as he reached up and started caressing her rich lips she grinned happily back, taking his fingers tightly in her hand.

"That tickles." She whispered.

"Morning." Jack smiled warmly at her.

"Morning." Her voice was delicate to his ears as she returned his gesture. To Jack's relief all traces of her previous exhaustion the night before had gone now, to be replaced with a contented and happy gleam. They lay in silence for a moment longer, holding each other close, Kate's head nestled into Jack's shoulder as he tickled her long dark hair gently with his nose.

"I love you." He whispered softly into her ear. His heart skipping a beat, making him take a silent gasp of breath, as he heard her response.

"I love you to."

After a moment of deep contemplation Jack rose.

"Hey, where are you going?" Kate asked.

"I need to check on Sawyer." Jack explained as he kissed her subtly on the forehead. "I'll be back later."

As Jack exited the cool darkness of the caves he was relieved to find that rain the previous evening had left the air outside fresh and refreshingly earthy. Locke was gone when he decided to look in on him before checking on Sawyer. It looked as though he had left some time during the night, his bed was un-slept in and as Jack took a brief moment to tidy around the now abandoned cave he noticed that his belongings had gone, but he hadn't expected him to stay settled for long after he had received the all clear.

Jack took a while to compose himself before looking in on Sawyer. The other man's attitude the night before had left him feeling somewhat concerned for Sawyer's well being, and he sighed apprehensively as he leaned against the rocky wall of the cave. He briefly considered putting off checking on Sawyer, after the previous evening a few more hours spent with Kate was certainly more appealing, but as usual Jack's moral side won over and reluctantly he made his way to Sawyer's cave, fully aware of the welcome he could expect to receive.

Meanwhile Locke had left the caves late the previous evening, and despite still not feeling quite himself had spent a few hours sleeping rough on the jungle floor, tossing and turning in his discomfort. He had been occupied hunting boar since before sunrise, tracking a large male, who had raided his camp sometime during the night, to a small clearing deep in the heat of the jungle. Locke had been feeling increasingly nauseous all morning but the thrill of the chase had kept his mind off the events of the past few days, which had left him confined to the caves. Now he lay silently in the undergrowth, his breathing shallow as he tried to suppress the growing pain in his abdomen. Keeping his eye on the large pig, a slight perspiration gathering on his forehead as he waited for the appropriate moment to strike, hunting knife raised ready. As the boar steadily moved within a closer proximity to Locke's hiding place he steadied himself on his feet, before launching himself at the pig as it finally came to a halt a few feet in front of him. As he did so he recoiled in shock as a searing pain struck his abdomen making him cry out in pain, to Locke's horror alerting the boar to his position. He froze, doubled over in silence, as much as he could suppress the urge to shout out, as the animal's eyes met with his in a moment that made Locke feel as though his heart had stopped, before in terror it disappeared. His frustrations at loosing the opportunity of his first kill in weeks were quickly overridden by the growing fear that the pain in his gut was getting worse rather than better and as he tried to straighten up he fell to the floor unable to breathe. Tears of suppressed anger filled his eyes as he began to regret not telling Jack what had really been bothering him over the past few days. Despite the pills Jack had given him he had only taken a couple for the pain, concealing the rest in his rucksack when the younger man wasn't looking, inadvertently allowing the virus to take an increasingly strong hold on his weakened immune system until he had almost had to give up on the act that as the days went by he was feeling substantially better in Jack's presence. He knew that if he could control the pain he was now in he would possibly have enough strength left to make it back to the caves, as much as it frustrated him to know that he had probably set his recovery back a number of weeks, and he hurriedly ransacked his bag for the loose pain killers rattling around in the bottom, swallowing two of the milky white pills down as he placed his rough hand over them one after the other, before settling down to wait for the medication to take effect.

Back at the caves Jack was growing increasingly concerned that Locke had not yet returned. After checking on Sawyer, who he was relieved to see that despite being in considerable pain was suffering no long-term after effects of the surgery, and spending most of the morning down at the beach with Dexter, cleaning and adjusting his drip, he had hoped that Locke would have retuned sometime around mid-afternoon for his next dose of anti-biotics but it was nearly dark when he got back to the caves and as he came up the path from the beach he felt disheartened to see no sign of his return.

"Hey Hurley, you seen John?" He could as he noticed the other man standing by the waterfall washing clothes.

"Not since yesterday." Hurley replied, "Why?"

Jack took a moment for thought, considering whether or not to explain to Hurley the true nature of Locke's condition when he noticed Kate emerge from one of the nearby caves.

"What's going on?" She asked as she made her way over to him, an apprehensive frown spread across her face as she noticed Jack's concerned expression.

"Is Locke back yet?" He asked her.

"No… at least I don't think so." She faltered as the sudden fear on Jack's face registered with her, "Why? I thought you discharged him." She smiled nervously.

"He's still on anti-biotics." Jack explained. "He should be back by now… if he doesn't get his medication soon he could still become real sick really quickly."

"Then why did you let him go?" Hurley asked, slightly bemused by the sudden turn the dawning evening seemed to be taking, although he was fully aware that things never seemed to remain quiet on the island for long.

Jack failed to respond to the younger man's questioning, unsure of how to handle the now apparent dilemma he took Kate aside to speak with her more privately.

"This is all my fault." He explained guiltily as he made his way over to Locke's cave. Kate followed him with concerned eyes as he began to sort through the jumble of old airline cushions and blankets that had made up Locke's tempory bed. As he lifted a couple of the cushions he heard a sudden click and looking down noticed a couple of white pills at his feet.

"What are they?" Kate asked as he bent down to pick them up.

"Locke's painkillers." He observed gravely. "He obviously hasn't been taking them. Damn!" Jack slammed his fists down on the bed in frustration.

"We'll find him." Kate tried to reassure him, "Maybe he just lost track of time."

"I thought I was doing the right thing." Jack continued. "I just wanted to try and get him to open up to me." At this Kate gave him a quizzical look, encouraging him to elaborate. "Locke's hiding something from me Kate, I'm sure of it!"

"Like what?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm convinced it's something about his condition."

"Right, well we'll organise a search party for him." She said as she squeezed Jack's ribs affectionately, "We _will_ find him."

"I know." Jack smiled as he turned to embrace her. "I know."

Locke struggled to make it through the dense expanse of the jungle, the dawning realisation that he was still a few miles away from reaching the caves filling him with despair. The painkillers he had taken a few hours earlier had provided only tempory relief and now with each new step he took the pain in his abdomen intensified, making him feel as though his stomach was on fire. His breath was ragged and as his chest continued to tighten and he leaned against a near by palm tree to steady his head, which was now spinning, he was alarmed to find that his already weakened legs gave way from under him. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he curled tightly up into a ball, full of fear with the knowledge that if he stayed where he was out here it could be days before anyone found him… and he had knew that he had no idea of how long he could survive exposed to the elements in his current condition.

"Jack!" he called out despairingly, barely managing a hoarse whisper. "Jack!"

Suddenly he heard a snap of twigs from behind him and he turned abruptly to see the figure of a tall unfamiliar woman standing before him. It took a moment for Locke's vision to clear but as it did and her hazy silhouette came into clearer focus the dull light penetrating the dense jungle overgrowth revealed her piercing blue eyes and mucky brown face staring down at him, framed by the long chocolate locks of her wavy unkempt hair.

"Who are you?" Locke asked with as much bravery as he could manage, feeling increasingly vulnerable, his voice shaking slightly from both encroaching cold and growing uneasiness. "Are you the French woman?" He pressed after he failed to receive a response and remembering Sayid's tale of the woman who had captured him in the jungle only a week or so earlier.

"Are you sick?" She asked him at last.

"I need Jack." Locke explained.

"Are you sick?" The unknown woman asked him again.

"Jack… I need Jack… Doctor." Locke strained.

But without another word the anonymous woman suddenly raised her hand to reveal a gun… a gun which Locke was horrified to see she was now aiming straight at him.


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16**

**Yay at last Chapter 16 is finally up! I'm sorry about the wait but thanks for being so patient with me. I've had a real case of writers block whilst writing this chapter which has helped to contribute to why it has taken so long to get it up - I hope it comes up to my usual standard. I hope you enjoy what you read, it was a tough task in writing it and believe it or not has taken me close to two weeks to complete! Please don't forget to REVIEW. **

"You're not going out there with them?" Shannon fumed as she watched Sayid hastily dress in front of her.

"Yes." He replied.

"And what about me?" she asked, her voice peaking as obvious anger and frustration began to get the better of her,

"You're not on your own here Shannon." Sayid sighed, "There are plenty of people around to keep you company if you care to join them."

"He killed my brother Sayid!" Shannon growled as tears filled her eyes and spilled out heavily onto her warm cheeks. The couple's peaceful afternoon had been abruptly shattered by the news of Locke's disappearance.

"And I am convinced he did not." Sayid continued, unfazed by Shannon's new found hostility towards him. Past events had lead him to experience the bitter and painful grieving process himself first hand, and he found himself not completely insensitive to her emotions.

"So you're just going to leave me?" She questioned, her tone bitter as she aimed a hateful glare in Sayid's direction.

"The man you shot in cold blood is out in that jungle alone." He explained, indicating the dense growth of tropical trees where the jungle wet with the beach. "You may not care what happens to him but I do… for your sake as much as my own."

Sayid despaired at the desperate turn the couples relationship had taken over the past few days. Shannon had struggled to relate to the suffering of the other crash survivors in the immediate aftermath but her distinctly selfish streak had given way to a more contented disposition as the pairs friendship had blossomed into a passionate and intense romance. Yet since Boone's death Sayid had found Shannon becoming increasingly more isolated and as she continued to shun any form of physical or emotional contact he offered to her their love for each other had gradually soured into a relationship formed from an impotent combination of hapless love resentment.

"Cold blood?" Shannon suddenly screamed. "My brother is dead!"

"And I understand more than anyone your need for someone to blame." Sayid spoke softly," but taking your own guilt out on an innocent man, condemning him to almost certain death…"

"Innocent?" Shannon raged, cutting him off in mid-flow.

"It won't kill the knowledge that you should have appreciated what a good friend and affectionate brother you had in Boone whilst he was still alive." Sayid continued unperturbed. "You were both given a second chance after you survived the crash, a second chance I fear, unlike your brother, you have not made the most of."

"You know," Shannon snapped as she suddenly turned on Sayid, her eyes alight with the fire of her fury, "you're right, I don't care! And I sure as hell don't have to listen to this!"

"You wouldn't say that if you knew what it really meant to kill someone." Sayid muttered despondently under his breath. "That's why I have to do this." He continued as he turned to leave, aiming a regretful look in Shannon's direction as he parted the tarpaulin of the improvised tent – simple in it's design yet fully functional in aiding human survival. Shannon could hear the crunch of his heavy healed boots on the crisp sand outside for a few fleeting moments following, her misplaced sense of false pride holding her back from her desire to go after him. Instead she sat in silence, allowing herself to enter a despondent state of grievous contemplation before being lulled into weary contentment by the rhythmic beat now pulsating away in her ears… despair finally overtaking her as she cried herself into an exhausted and broken sleep. Sayid never truly realised just how close to the truth he had been.

…………………………

A little while later Jack came down the path to the beach. It had now been a number of hours since he had discovered Locke's discarded medication in the sleeping compartment of the caves and he was growing increasingly concerned that he had still not returned. He and Kate had already been out scouring the surrounding jungle for any sign that Locke could still have remained in the local area, but having found no trace Jack felt that the situation had reached a new sense of urgency and decided it was now necessary to take more drastic action.

"Michael!" He called to the young man who he noticed standing at the water's edge, soaking his feet in the sea as he sunned his bare shoulders. Michael turned abruptly at the sound of the young doctor's voice, kicking up droplets of salty spray as he did so, soaking his lower legs.

"Jack!" He exclaimed with surprise, "What can I do for you?" He could tell by the grave expression set upon his friend's face that this was not a social visit.

"It's Locke." Jack explained.

"Yes, I'd heard something vague about him being in a serious condition." Michael's tone became regretful as his voice sank in volume, "I couldn't be sure though."

"He's gone missing." Jack informed him despondently.

"What? When?" Michael asked, obvious shock shrouding his question as he stared disbelievingly in Jack's direction. Locke was a skilled tracker and huntsman, it seemed inconceivable that even in his current condition he could lose himself in the deep overgrowth of the jungle.

"Early this afternoon." Jack continued. "It's not looking good I'm afraid. We've already conducted a fairly concentrated localised search but there's no sign of him. If he doesn't get his medication soon he could be in serious trouble. I'm formulating a search party to split up and search for him, but if he's ventured too far into the jungle it could take hours."

"And you need my help?" Michael asked.

"I know you and Locke haven't exactly always been on the best of terms." Jack screwed up his face quizzically as he glanced at his friend now standing before him. "But we desperately need all the man power we can get."

Michael appeared to take a minute to contemplate his options. "Sure." He responded after a moment's pause, bending down to retrieve his only recently discarded grimy orange t-shirt before proceeding to pull it rather unceremoniously over his head. "I remember having to do something quite similar for you once." He continued with forced cheer.

Jack offered up a weary smile in response. "Do you have someone to keep an eye on Walt for you?" He asked.

"I'll speak to Sun." Michael reassured him.

"Well I'll see you at the caves in half an hour then." Jack suggested. "We have a lot of ground to cover before nightfall and there's no guarantee of the condition Locke could be in if he has to spend the evening out there alone."

"Who else will be joining us?" Michael called to Jack as the doctor began ascending the path back up to the caves.

"Just Sayid and Kate." Jack replied, "The last thing we need are too many people going out and getting themselves lost, and Kate is a knowledgeable tracker which should help to make up for the loss of numbers." He explained testily, and with that he was gone.

……………………………………

Half an hour later Kate and Sayid stood in the mouth of one of the designated sleeping caves as Jack paced restlessly around the encampment. Time was getting on and Michael still hadn't arrived… dark clouds were beginning to gather on the horizon, casting a distinctly hazy light on the camp and signifying the approaching evening.

Sayid had appeared despondent all afternoon, and as Kate placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder he remained unresponsive, failing to acknowledge any gesture of comfort now offered to him.

"You're doing your best under the circumstances." She smiled. Sayid had confided nothing in her about his earlier conversation with Shannon which has gone so terribly wrong, but it hadn't taken much to convince Kate that there was something distinctly different about her friend's normally level headed disposition. "She just needs time." She continued.

"Time won't make a difference." Sayid spoke. "She's lost someone she loved more than even she realised… time can't fix that, it only makes it easier… the pain only fades because it's a fact of life that time is a great killer of memories."

"I know." Kate muttered… nobody but Jack, who had stopped pacing for the moment, realised just how much Sayid's statement rang true to her. "But she needs space to find herself again, that's something you of all people should understand."

"Just make sure you don't lose yourself in the meantime." Jack's tone was confident as he approached the couple, a look of complete seriousness upon his face. "Shannon will get through this, you both will… and she's going to need you to be there for her when she finally realises just how much she needs you to." He offered a brief glance in Kate's direction, smiling affectionately as he did so.

Suddenly they heard a rusting of bushes as an unknown figure came up the path from the beach, cutting the conversation short abruptly as all three turned with apprehension to see Michael appear from behind a near by tree.

"Where have you been? I told you half an hour." Jack spoke as he approached the young man, recoiling slightly at the sound of his own voice – his tone coming out harsher than he had initially intended.

"I couldn't find Sun." Michael explained apologetically, "Charlie said something about her being out with Jin, I couldn't just abandon Walt. I've had to leave him with Rose for now."

Jack offered a brief nod of his head in response before continuing. Too much time had already been lost, there seemed little cause to waste it further through launching into a seemingly irresolvable conflict. "We'd better get going then." He explained, glancing up at the sky as he did so, revealing the encroaching darkness as it veiled the normal brilliant blue of its tropical aura. "Ready?" He asked, turning to Michael.

"As I'll ever be." Michael responded.

"And you two?" Jack continued, turning to Sayid and Kate who both nodded in response.

A hesitant twitch of Jack's head was the only sign that he had registered their reply as he took lead of the small party, guiding them cautiously into the jungle. Not another word escaped their lips as all four remained vigilant for any sign of Locke, fearing that if they were to ever miss anything, by the time they resumed the trail it may already be too late - knowing the uncertainty that they all now faced regarding his current condition.

**_Author's Note: I understand that there wasn't a lot of action taking place in this chapter - which I know is what some of my readers like to see, but I promise you there is going to be plenty of action taking place over the next few chapters now. This chapter is basically just setting up the scene, opportunity, and characters who are to feature mainly in inslaments to come._**


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

**Weyhey! I can't believe that I finally updated... and I finally completed this story! I'm sorry it's been a while guys I'm afraid things have been very slow going what with my other fics and work and some other stuff which has made me very busy lately but thank you for being so patient. I hope you enjoy this chapter (as usual) and I also hope that as this is my last update for this story you will REVIEW to tell me what you think, they are always appreciated.**

Meanwhile as the small party of searchers began to weave their way through the dense overgrowth of the jungle Locke struggled, without result, to convince his abductor of the urgency of his situation as burning pain began to wrack his chest and abdomen forcing him to concentrate less on the act of talking and more on the process of inhaling and exhaling as he fought to catch his breath.

"Please… what do you want from me?" He strained to speak as he looked up at the unmoving form of the woman standing before him.

"Your sickness, the air all around here has been contaminated." She spoke, her heavy French accent rolling fluently off her tongue. "I cannot allow the contagion to continue."

"Doctor." Locke continued as he attempted to make his need clearer, knowing little of how much English the French woman really understood. "Jack… please… I need the doctor." He persisted as once again his abdomen was gripped in a vice of searing pain.

He looked up resiliently at the woman now standing over him as she raised the gun parallel to his chest, continuing upwards towards his head – the tears in her eyes deflecting the diminishing light of the evening and opening up a gateway to her soul, revealing that cold bloodied murder did not come easily to her by nature.

"Where have you come from?" She asked him at last, her tone faltering dangerously as she struggled to hold the gun steadily in position. "Who are you?"

"My name is John Locke." Locke explained with as much calm as his throbbing body would permit. "There are a group of us… we are… we are survivors of Oceanic Flight 815, which crashed here thirty-two days ago." He continued, taking deep breaths between speech as he fought to contain the increasing level of pain taking a hold of his body, the prominent light of the afternoon gradually surrendering itself to the dull mask of evening. An icy breeze began to blow, making Locke's exposed form convulse with cold as he continued to observe the hazy silhouette of the suddenly silent woman, the gun still pointing in his direction as she kept her finger firmly fixed upon the trigger. "Who are _you_?" Locke asked at last, turning the question around to her.

The atmosphere remained silent between them for a long while, the mysterious woman appearing reluctant to answer for a time before a heavy sigh prompted the response Locke desired.

"My name is Rousseau." She spoke falteringly. "Danielle Rousseau… and believe me when I tell you there's nowhere on this island for you to run."

Locke waited in torrid pain for her to continue.

"It's been nearly seventeen years since we first came here… my group of scientific researchers and I." She explained. "Seventeen isolating years since _they_ came, and took everything I loved away from me. Now I see their pain in your eyes to… how can I possibly allow you to return to your camp with the knowledge of what awaits the rest of you if this were to spread?" She asked.

"I don't understand." Locke winced.

"I watched my group fall victim to the island's mysterious contagion one by one." Rousseau continued grievously. "Each day another body to burn as sickness and fever ravaged those I had come to hold with the greatest affection, people I had known what felt like my entire working life… but like any good mother the life I feared for most of all was that of my child… my daughter Alex."

"Wait, you had a child?" Locke suddenly cut in incredulously.

Rousseau nodded. "Her farther was a scientist also… part of my team. I loved him. But I could see only one chance to save myself and the life of my daughter. So I shot him, sparing him the fate of the rest, and stopped the virus in its tracks. Now do you see why I cannot allow their loss to be in vein by allowing you to live?"

"You don't even know me." Locke spoke in response, anger masking his fear now as his body began to weaken. "You know nothing about me… you know nothing of my condition." He persisted, yet without response as Rousseau suddenly went silent. "I can't take much more of this." He continued despairingly. "Please… I need Jack… Just give me a bloody chance!" He begged, but in that moment a sickening pain shot through his lower abdomen as he forced himself to his feet. He stumbled backwards, a primitive cry irrupting from the deeper recesses of his sub-conscious as shock turned his body cold before giving in to numbness… when a loud crack abruptly echoed through the jungle canopy as the gun Rousseau still had trained upon Locke suddenly went off.

The small party of searchers froze to the heavy sound of gunshot echoing through the trees, their senses suddenly heightened as the potential for danger immediately became all too apparent.

"What was that?" Michael asked nervously as an eerie silence followed – the surrounding jungle suddenly unnervingly still as though the unnatural cacophony of the shocking reverberation had petrified all sign of life into submission.

"It came from over there." Sayid pointed in the direction of a narrow clearing just a few feet ahead of them.

They stood in a small group, fixed cautiously to an exposed and depleted area of undergrowth beneath their feet for a moment as they contemplated what was to be done. Silent seconds ticked by without a word or a gesture passing between them, their ragged breathing suppressed until the hollow rise and fall of each of their heaving rib-cages delivered nothing more than a shallow whisper of breath… when within an instant the silence was shattered by a deep holler, which suddenly appeared to escape Jack's throat as though on impulse.

"Locke!" he called. "Locke!"

"Jack!" Sayid hissed, putting his finger calmly to his lips as he acquired the young doctor's attention. "Shhhhhh."

Jack froze as he listened intently for any sign of a response, but his efforts proved fruitless. "Come on." He instructed the small group after a moment, before taking lead of them as he pressed on in the direction from which the shot had sounded.

They had moved only a few meters towards the small clearing when some members of the group paused suddenly, immediately distracted by the subtle sounds of movement coming from up ahead as branches snapped beneath someone's heavy tread and the barely audible sound of voices drifted on the silent breeze. As they continued at a steadier pace a short distance further Jack nervously withdrew the marshal's small, black handgun which was carefully concealed within a makeshift holster fixed around his waist as he armed himself against any potential conflict which may soon follow, before turning to face Kate who was following directly behind.

"You know, you don't have to press on any further if you don't want to." He explained, whispering to her affectionately. "I could go on alone… at least until we've determined whether there's any danger."

She looked up at him appreciatively. "I said _we'd _find Locke Jack." She responded understandingly. "Together… I'm not turning back now. I wouldn't want to… not if it meant leaving you behind."

"I just want you safe." He sighed.

"I know." She smiled. "That's why I love you."

Suddenly their conversation was interrupted as the sound of a second gunshot reverberated through the trees. Distinctly closer this time round Jack aimed a questioning glance in Kate's direction, almost willing her to change her mind – but Kate had made her decision and as the three men took off in the direction from which the second shot had come he glanced back briefly to see her closely following Sayid with the same set look of determination in her eyes which Jack admired so adamantly about her as Michael struggled to keep the pace behind. When, prior to any sense of realisation jostling him back to reality, he froze as the dense overgrowth of trees and vegetation surrounding him gave way to the cool air of evening as the jungle opened up into a second clearing – where to his horror he came face to face with the barrel of the gun which he could only assume had already been fired twice, and, as his attentions were immediately drawn to the pained form of John Locke at the foot of a nearby tree he raised his own gun ready to fire at the first sign that any further threat should be imposed on himself or the rest of the small party of searchers as one by one they stopped short behind him at the sight which met their eyes…

"Rousseau…" Sayid faltered after a moment, crossing cautiously in front of Jack as it took him a second to register the identity of the dirty, longhaired figure of the woman now standing before them. "What are you doing here?"

"Sayid…" She muttered under her breath as recognition immediately dawned on her with the approaching form of the authoritarian young man she had captured in the jungle a few weeks earlier. "I've missed you since you left." She explained with a wistful smile – the haunting hollowness of her gaze reflecting her loneliness.

"I know." He returned her affection sympathetically, raising his hands parallel to his breast as he realised that she still had the gun trained in their general direction. "Please… just put the gun down."

"I can't do that." She stated, a desperation in her voice connoting all the guilt of a soul devastated by grief.

"Yes… you can!" Sayid struggled to convince her as the breath caught in his throat. "Just hand me the gun and let him go." He pleaded, indicating the unmoving form of John Locke as he noticed the twisted and charred greenery of a nearby tree, it's trunk mangled by numerous large, gaping wounds – the obvious entry points of two sizable callaba bullets, fired at close range.

"But he's sick… he's contaminated." She responded fearfully, yet with a startling air of conviction in her voice. "You knew this day might come." She continued as she turned the gun back on Locke.

"Please…" Kate suddenly took a few paces further forward from where she'd been standing silently up until now a few feet behind Jack. But Sayid shot her a closed look in warning not to precede any further.

"Don't do this." He pleaded as he turned his attentions back to focus on Rousseau. "Not again. You're not a killer Danielle. Seventeen years ago you thought you were alone on this island, you could sense death all around you and like anybody else in your situation could see no way out… but you're not alone here anymore Rousseau."

"Don't you understand? There is no other way." She responded. Forcing the words from between her lips as remorse consumed her soul.

"Listen to me Rousseau. There are two others back at our camp. They've been sick for days, but one of them is improving." Sayid explained. "People get sick, sometimes they die. It's a horribly cruel fact of life… but they can also get better if you just give us a chance."

"Please…" Locke spoke hoarsely, flinching as he turned to direct his fevered glance in Rousseau's direction, his gaze meeting with hers for an instant before she hastily turned away. A moment of silence suddenly ensued, during which Rousseau appeared to be contemplating her options – wresting with her conscience as she struggled to make a choice between sparing the life of the man now doubled over before her, or complying with the distorted perceptions of reality which had already plagued her for too long. Finally she lowered her gun.

"If the worst should come to the worst you know what needs to be done." She spoke, her tone regretful as she turned to direct her words at Sayid before turning her back on the small group and disappearing deep into the dense overgrowth of the jungle.

Sayid made to follow her but Jack held him back, grasping him firmly by the arm. "We need you here." He insisted, before making his silent way over to Locke's exhausted form.

"I'm sorry Jack." Locke strained to speak as the young doctor knelt down beside him. His relief was evident although hard to distinguish beyond his pain, even as the declining light of evening cast a heavy shadow over the island's inhabitants.

"It's alright." Jack tried to reassure him. "Just lay still a moment." He continued as he raided his discarded rucksack for one of a selection of pill bottles he had seen appropriate to carry with him, before speedily withdrawing a small brown tinted bottle containing a limited number of dark blue capsules rattling around in the bottom. "Here take this." He spoke as he offered Locke one of the pills. "It's a much stronger painkiller than I have given you before and contains a mild sedative." He explained gravely, as he helped the other man into an upright position.

Locke choked weakly on the small trickle of water Jack offered him as he swallowed the pill down with evident difficulty, sending his already raw abdomen and lungs into another state of agonising discomfort as he gasped for breath before reaching out for anything which may help him to control the pain.

"Jack…" He whispered.

"Just lay still Locke." Jack coaxed as he fought to restrain him. "Your symptoms seem to be progressing in the same way as Sawyer's. If you don't try and calm down and continue to keep throwing yourself around like this you could end up doing yourself some serious internal damage. The pills should start to take effect soon."

Finally as time passed a calming silence ensued, broken only by Locke's frequent gasps of pain, before, as Jack anticipated he gradually began to relax and the young doctor was eventually able to take a closer look at him.

"So what's the verdict?" Michael asked Jack after a moment, observing the semi-conscious form of John Locke at his feet as the doctor finally rose from examining him.

"He's sleeping now." Jack explained. "I don't think he's in any immediate danger and the medication I have given him should keep him relatively sedate for the next few hours but we really need to get him back to the caves as soon as possible."

"That won't be possible this evening I'm afraid." Jack suddenly turned to the sound of Sayid's voice close behind him.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"It's already quite late." Sayid explained, "And as the night draws on it's only going to get colder. We've already lost the light of early evening and have no idea how long it's going to take us to get back to camp with a wounded party on our hands…"

"He's not wounded he's sick!" Jack interjected suddenly, frustration clearly conveyed in his voice.

"Even so," Sayid continued, "Do you honestly believe that John is going to be able to keep up with us in his condition? It's much better for everyone involved if we set up camp here for the night. You go and see to John Jack, I'll take Michael and we can start setting up a campfire… It's the best chance we have believe me." He looked at Jack with raised eyebrows.

Jack took a while to respond as he silently contemplated their options for a moment, eventually although somewhat reluctantly nodding his head in resigned agreement before turning to glance around for Kate, realising that he had suddenly lost sight of her – finally noticing her as she stood alone a few feet away, apparently lost in quiet contemplation.

"Hey." He smiled welcomingly as he made his way towards her, causing her to jump slightly as he approached.

"Hey yourself." She returned his gesture affectionately before they wrapped their arms warmly around each other in a tight and comforting embrace… the words between them still failing to flow however.

"Are you alright Kate?" Jack asked her concernedly after a moment.

"Yeah… I was just thinking about Sawyer." She sighed at last, her voce faltering unsurely as she continued, "He is going to get better isn't he Jack?"

"I won't deny that he has been, and still is very sick Kate." Jack finally responded hesitantly, his tone grave and uncertain. "But there's no reason why with sufficient support and medical attention, even in this environment, he cannot make a full recovery."

"Good… I'm glad." She smiled, turning to glance lovingly up at him in obvious relief for a moment before casually changing the subject. "How's Locke?" She asked.

"He's in a lot of pain." Jack explained absentmindedly, "But he'll live. I'm pretty sure we found him in time… things could have been a lot worse." Before, after a brief pause of uncertainty, he suddenly pressed her with the question which had been subconsciously plaguing him over the past few days. "Kate do you regret choosing me over Sawyer?"

Kate immediately turned to look at him, a bemused frown suddenly clouding her soft features. "Where's this come from?" She asked.

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "I just need to know." He responded.

"I love you Jack." She replied softly, resting her head delicately on his shoulder. "Nothing is going to change that. I cannot deny that there is a connection between me and Sawyer that may never go away… but I don't love him… I know that now… and Sawyer's just going to have to learn to deal with that. I chose _you_ Jack… sometimes I think I've probably loved you since the moment we met. Does that sound corny?" She laughed.

"Maybe just a little." Jack smiled. "I love you to Kate." He grinned as he planted a gentle kiss on top of her forehead, drawing her closer to him.

Suddenly Kate shivered in his arms as an icy breeze caressed her exposed and bare flesh.

"It's getting late." Jack whispered. "We should be getting back to the others soon."

"No." She smiled, "Lets stay here a while longer. The moment will be over soon enough, lets not rush anything."

Jack glanced around briefly at the silent form of John Locke sleeping silently under the shadow of a nearby tree. "Yeah sure." He grinned contentedly after a moment, he'd be all right for the time being… and as Kate kissed him tenderly on the lips, her lips soft and passionately supple, something told him that things would never be the same again.

Meanwhile a change was taking place deep within Kate's soul, making her heart erupt with happiness as she realised that she was finally free. She had been running from her painful past right into the open arms of a brighter future, although she hadn't seen it at the time… but she didn't have to run anymore – and as she stood, the cool breeze of evening caressing her pale cheeks, she felt the bitter guilt over Sawyer… and Tom, which had built up inside of her for so long gradually washing away.

"Thank You." She muttered wistfully after a moment, but Jack failed to respond as he held her tightly to him, his silence saying it all, that he would never leave her, he'd love her, keep her safe and on the straight and narrow – that she'd never be alone again…

…and in that moment Kate knew that she had made the right decision.

**_End._**


End file.
